Category: Dreams

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Getting answers while you sleep: How incubation seeds helpful dreams

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If you are wrestling with a particularly challenging issue and no amount of effort yields an answer, sometimes ‘sleeping on it’ can bring insight that eluded you during the day. If you deliberately ask your dream-self to help you solve problems, the help that comes from such inquiry offers multiple and surprising benefits.

 

Some notes on the history of dream incubation

Dream incubation has a long history, far beyond the scope of this blog. But there is some wisdom to be gleaned from the past. According to Patton (2004), the dream incubation rituals of the Ancient Near East and Greece had three main elements: intentionality, locality and epiphany. Without at least two of these elements, a dream can’t be considered incubated.

Intentionality is the understanding that the dream incubation was entered into deliberately and for a specific purpose, most often healing. There was often a ritual preparation, cleansing, possibly supplication to the gods for a therapeutic dream. It was understood that such dreams were coming from the gods and not the person dreaming them. Patton wrote that “incubation is a process one enters deliberately, intentionally, on one’s own behalf, with an eye to hatching dreams of power” (p. 203).

Locality speaks to the fact that dreams were considered to be in relationship with the place one dreams them. Dreams were originally seen as “place events… the dream’s setting is radically connected to the place where the dream is dreamed” (p. 204). Dreamers attending the ancient temple of Asklepios, for example, would sleep in the abaton with all the other people hoping to have a healing dream. The places chosen for such rituals were understood to be where the veil between the material and spiritual world was more permeable.

Epiphany involved the realization of a dream incubation and subsequent sharing of the dream encounter. Successfully-incubated dreams were seen by the Ancient Near East and Greeks as visitations from the gods, marked by the appearance of the actual god in the dream, or another form which the god often assumed, i.e. Asklepios as serpent. The process was often completed with some kind of offering or artwork commemorating the dream and offering thanks. After a dream in which the gods paid a visit, they were understood to inhabit the dreamer for a time, or for a lifetime, bringing about fusion of the larger and smaller self.

Patton writes eloquently of the relationship between the dreamer and the gods:

“Although incubated dreams certainly do not “belong” to human beings any more than any other dreams do, they are far from impersonal. For our part, we are far from passive receptacles for the self-expression of the gods through dreaming. We contribute to the incubation a delicate yet powerful web of experience, memory, will, fear, awe, and desire where the divine dream can take place. When the spirit of place hatches dreams through mortals, it also dreams about us and for us as individuals, as a tribe, and as a race.

Thus the process of incubation, viewed through this phenomenology— or constructive historical theology—emerges neither as conjuring magic (whereby the dreamer is all powerful) nor as a kind of slavery to the night terrors sent by a celestial despot (whereby the visiting dreamed god is all powerful), but instead as a delicate relationship, as paradoxical and symbiotic as any other two-sided affair.”

 

Dream Incubation Goes Beyond Problem-Solving

Whether or not you ascribe to the view that dreams are messages from the gods, it does appear that dreams bring us many gifts, especially if we make a point of deliberately asking them. Dream incubation research shows that the resulting dreams go beyond problem-solving and can bring insight, lift mood and point to health concerns. In a controlled experiment by White and Taytroe (2003), 96 frequent dreamers rated waking and dream moods over ten days and recorded their most vivid dream for each night. Half incubated a dream before sleeping and half upon waking. Night dream incubation participants were more likely to report that their distress around their problem was reduced, and that it felt both more solvable and improved in some way. Night dream incubation also improved mood, reducing both anxiety and depression over ten days relative to the control group.

The researchers used Delaney’s (1996) simple dream incubation technique:

“Write down a one-line question, phrase, or request that expresses something you think is important for you to know or do in order to help you solve your personal problem. It is not a wish that something would happen to another person or to circumstances beyond your control that are part of your focus problem. Examples are:

Help me understand my friend _____,” “What is really going on between _____ and me?,” “Give me an idea for my physics project,” “How can I get motivated to do _____?,” and “How can I improve my study habits?”

You might think of several phrases before you find one that seems most direct and appropriate. Be as specific as you can to your focus problem.”

 

An Embodied Dream Incubation Practice

If you would prefer a more embodied method, here is one I developed based on focusing. While it doesn’t work for me all the time, on occasion it has produced profound dreams in direct response to my inquiry. Here’s a script to guide your incubation process:

Start by allowing your body to choose a particular topic or issue that you would like your dream to respond to. Check inside for what seems to most want your attention. Get a sense of how it lives in your body – where it is located, and how you would describe it. See if you can also get a sense of what it might be about. Spend a couple of minutes with this – an example might be: a knot in my stomach that seems to contain some anger to do with my relationship. Or a fluttery sensation in my throat that feels like anxiety about the pandemic. As you attend to this felt sense, ask your dream to offer something relevant, a way forward. Stay with the embodied question, and the actual felt sense in your body for a few minutes, ideally not too long before sleeping, and then let it go. You can do this for several nights in a row if your dreams don’t respond immediately. Treat all the dreams that come within the next few days as if they are responding to your query.

 

Dreams and the body: Early warning signs

In another dream incubation study, Harvard psychologist Dierdre Barrett (1993) examined the effects of dream incubation for creative problem solving. She found that among the 76 participants, roughly half of their dreams were deemed relevant to the question posed in the incubation process. Of those, about 70% of the dreams were rated, both by the dreamer and by independent raters, as offering a solution to the problem. Barrett found that incubation is most successful with queries of a personal nature, and that medical and body-related questions can also generate helpful dream responses.

There is strong support for the notion that the early warning signs for some medical conditions come to us first in our dreams. According to neurologist Oliver Sacks (1996), dreams are, “directly or distortedly, reflections of current states of body and mind.” Neurological disorders can alter dreaming processes in quite specific ways, and these can vary from person to person. Sacks gives the example of a patient with an occipital angioma who knew that if his dreams turned from their usual black and white to red, he was about to have a seizure. In other examples: the loss of visual imagery in dreams is a possible precursor to Alzheimer’s, and recovery dreams can presage remission from multiple sclerosis. Sacks hypothesized that the dreaming mind is more sensitive than the waking mind to small changes in the body, and so appears prescient because it picks up subtle early cues.

In some cases, this early warning provided by dreaming can be lifesaving. Dreamworker Jeremy Taylor (1992) offered the example of a woman who dreamt of a purse of rotting meat. The dream was so disturbing to her and her dream group members, the woman sought a diagnostic pap smear which turned out to be negative. She insisted on further testing which revealed she had a particularly aggressive form of uterine cancer that would have killed her had she not caught it in time. At the time of the dream, she had no symptoms and was about to go on a trip – she credits the dream and the dreamwork for saving her life.

Taylor said that all dreams can be read on many levels, but that every dream contains some reference to the body that is dreaming it. In some dreams, houses can be seen as analogies for the body – for example, the wiring is our nervous system, the plumbing our digestive system, windows are eyes and so on. This embodied level of the dream is always worth considering, especially if the images seem particularly ominous or insistent, like the purse of rotting meat.

However, dreams are not always so serious, and only very rarely are they warnings of something deadly. I am hoping that when you try these dream incubation practices, you bring a spirit of curiosity and play. Love and enjoy your dreams and they will often respond in kind, bringing new insights to old problems and lifting up your mood along the way.

 

Dr. Leslie Ellis is author of A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy. She offers clinical dreamwork courses online.

 

References

Barrett, D. (1993). The “Committee of Sleep”: A Study of Dream Incubation for Problem Solving. Dreaming, 3(2), 115-122.

Delaney, G. (1996). Living your dreams. San Francisco: Harper Collins.

Patton, K. C.  (2004). “A great and strange correction”: Intentionality, locality and eipiphany in the category of dream incubation. University of Chicago Press. Retrieved from: 075.080.230.207 on March 03, 2018.

Sacks, O. (1996). Neurological dreams. In Barrett (Ed.), Trauma and dreams, p. 212-216. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

White, G. L. & Taytroe, L. (2003).  Personal Problem-Solving Using Dream Incubation: Dreaming, Relaxation, or Waking Cognition? Dreaming, 13(4).

 

 

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Dreams of Bereavement: How Your Dreams Help You Grieve

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Bereavement dreams are common and they help us through the grief process. Surprisingly, dreams following the loss of a beloved person or pet are mostly positive.

Earlier this summer, already made more cruel by the distress and dislocation brought on by the pandemic, I lost my beloved cat Shadow, a massive Maine Coon that was so majestic he seemed almost mythical. He was an outdoor cat who made the rounds of the neighborhood and had many admirers. He left one day never to return…. except in my dreams.

While I still help out hope that he was just holed up in someone else’s home being showered with affection, I was also very concerned, especially when I was shown that a prowling cougar crossed the path of my neighbor’s security camera. In my dreams, Shadow came every night at first, sleeping in the crook of my knees as was his habit. But this dream-Shadow was a glossier, shinier version, the picture of radiant health.

As the summer wore on with no sign of him, I began taking down the posters and admitting to myself that I may never see him again. He still returned in my dreams, but he was increasingly distant and a more faded, tattered version of himself. It was as though he was moving on, and I guess, so was I. Admitting to myself that it was highly unlikely I would see him again, I even got another cat (who is never allowed out except on a leash). It feels as though the dreams helped me, especially the early ones – as though my cat was coming back to reassure me.

Dreams following the death of a loved one, be it a pet or a person, are quite common. They are not always comforting, but they do seem to move the grief process forward. A woman who I did some dreamwork with told me of her dreams after the death of her father, which was a shock made more difficult by the fact that because of her family religious tradition, she was not allowed to see the body and pay her final respects. She told me her father would come often in dreams, with no apparent idea that he was deceased. He would talk to her in these dreams as though all was well, and she would have to live through the fact of his death over and over again every night. Was this helpful? Her feelings about this are decidedly mixed. But she did feel that the dreams helped her overcome the shock of the loss, and to accept its reality.

Dr. Joshua Black studies dreams of grief and loss. He recently investigated the question: “Why are some dreams of the deceased experienced as comforting, while others are distressing?” In his study (2020) with 216 participants whose partner had died, he and his colleagues found that bereavement dreams appear to serve at least three distinct functions: they can assist with processing trauma; they can serve to maintain a bond with the deceased; and/or they can help regulate emotion. Taken together, these functions may “actively facilitate adjustment to bereavement.”

Black became interested in grief when he had a visitation from his father 3 months after his death. His dad had died suddenly, plunging Black into grief he described as numbness, as if all the color had drained from the world. In the dream, his dad had an uncharacteristic lightness about him. In an interview, Black (Bell, 2020) said, “It was the first time I saw him peaceful.” In the dream, he got to tell his dad he missed and loved him and after that, all the color in his world returned. This ultimately led to Black’s decision to research grief dreams rather than follow his plan to teach elementary school. In his dissertation (2018), he studied who dreams of the deceased and why, and found that the desire to maintain continuing bonds is a factor that was not previously considered, and that attachment styles may play a role in who dreams of lost loved ones.

Among Black’s other findings, one of the most surprising is that dreams following loss are not only common, but overwhelmingly positive. After the loss of a spouse, 86% will dream about them over the following year, while 78% will dream of their lost pet within 6 months of their death. More surprising is that 92% of those dreaming of deceased partners will have positive dreams, compared with 44% negative dream content. With pets, fully 91% will have positive dream content.

Black said initial grief dreams tend to offer reassurance, just as Shadow did with me. He was glossy and felt so alive and present it was as if I could reach out and touch him. When these dream figures keep returning, it brings a sense of continuity of connection. And toward the end of life, lost loved ones often come to help ease the life-death transition. So while grief dreams can be painful, most often they help us through the pain of loss.

 

Some further resources:

Help for nightmare sufferers: CLICK HERE

A short focused course on nightmare treatment for clinicians. CLICK HERE

 

References

Bell, K. (2020). The Dream Journal Podcast, Sept. 26, 2020 episode with Dr. Joshua Black. Retrieved from ksqd.org/grief-dreams-with-dr-joshua-black

Black, J. (2018). Dreams of the deceased: Who has them and why. Dissertation, Brock University.

Black, J., Belicki, K., & Emberley-Ralph, J. (2019). Who dreams of the deceased? The roles of dream recall, grief intensity and openness to experience. Dreaming, 29 (1), 57-78.

Black, J., Belicki, K., Piro, R., & Hughes, H. (2020). Comforting Versus Distressing Dreams of the Deceased: Relations to Grief, Trauma, Attachment, Continuing Bonds, and Post-Dream Reactions. OMEGA – Journal of Death and Dying.

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New Study Examines Complex Relationship Between Nightmares, Suicide and Depression

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A recent study refutes the research which shows nightmares are indicators of increased risk of suicide. A group of Swedish researchers (Hedström et al., 2020) studied a group of more than 40,000 participants with an average follow-up of 19 years and found the rate of suicide linked to depression was not worsened by nightmares. Their study “revealed no significant effects of nightmares on suicide incidence,” but rather that depression was more prevalent among those who suffer from nightmares.

The conclusion the authors reach regarding the nightmare-suicide link is so at odds with what has been reported in several studies, I asked Dr. Michael Nadorff, an expert in this area, to comment. He wrote:

The study, in my opinion, was clearly underpowered which is why they are saying there was no effect despite nightmares more than doubling suicide risk even after controlling for depression, anxiety, hypnotic use, and a bunch of other factors.  Uncontrolled frequent nightmares put participants at more than five times greater risk.

Despite some methodological flaws, Nadorff and other reviewers noted that this paper offered much that was worthy of note. For example, Hedström and colleagues found that treatment of both depression and nightmares is warranted when these conditions co-occur. The researchers concluded that nightmare treatment “may provide additional therapeutic benefit.”

Other findings of interest related to suicide and depression: women are overrepresented among those who report depressive symptoms, and are more often smokers with lower levels of physical activity, and they suffer more insomnia symptoms. However, in the large sample, it is men who were more likely to commit suicide. Of the 69 suicide deaths reported in the sample over the 19-year follow-up period, 64 percent were men and 36 percent were women. There was a 12-fold increase in suicide risk associated with depression, and the researchers found that the presence of nightmares did not increase that risk.

Still, increasing nightmare frequency predicts greater likelihood of depression: “The odds of depression during follow-up was higher among those who suffered from nightmares than among those who did not.” Therefore, while nightmares do not appear to directly increase suicide risk, the study finds that “nightmares may reflect pre-existing depression.”

The researchers recommend nightmare treatment for several reasons: The distress caused by nightmares, especially when this is severe enough to compromise functioning and well-being, is linked to anxiety and depression. The effectiveness of nightmare treatment has been well documented. So as part of treatment for those with both nightmares and other diagnoses, the direct treatment of nightmares can help reduce some of the distressing symptoms.

Another interesting note is that a recent study shows that the propensity for nightmares may be genetic, but that nightmares in and of themselves do not indicate a predisposition for mental illness. The recent study by Ollila and colleagues (2019) on the genetics of nightmares showed that psychiatric illness predicts nightmares, but that nightmares do not predispose a person to psychiatric problems.

 

Hedström AK, Bellocco R, Hössjer O, Ye W, Lagerros YT, Åkerstedt T. (2020). The relationship between nightmares, depression and suicide, Sleep Medicine: X, https://doi.org/10.1016/ j.sleepx.2020.100016.

Ollila HM, Sinnott-Armstrong N, Kantojärvi K, et al. (2019). Nightmares share strong genetic risk with sleep and psychiatric disorders. BioRxiv 836452; doi:https://doi.org/10.1101/836452.

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No need to fear the Old Hag: Sleep Paralysis briefly explained

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Locals will warn you never to sleep on your back in Newfoundland, or risk a visit from the Old Hag. She steals in on the night fog just as you are falling asleep. She is an apparition that crawls up from the foot of your bed and sits on your chest so heavily you can’t breathe or move. Sometimes she may try to seduce you, other times, to kill you. These terrifying experiences are so common in Newfoundland, they have become the subject of a tv series aptly called Hag. They are also the subject of research into the relationship between sleep paralysis and folklore.

There is a physiological explanation for sleep paralysis. And there are good reasons these peculiar events feel like visitations by the Old Hag or some other kind of apparition. Sleep paralysis episodes are not limited to Newfoundland and in fact, are fairly common worldwide and throughout human history: roughly 8 percent of us will experience one in our lifetime, and some will have recurrent episodes. Students and psychiatric patients have a much higher prevalence of about 30 percent, likely because it is more common in people who are sleep-deprived and stressed. Sleep paralysis is not a nightmare, but rather a form of sleep disturbance, a parasomnia.

Sleep Paralysis is normal: terrifying but harmless

The most important thing to know is that sleep paralysis is normal. Having an episode doesn’t mean you are losing touch with reality or being visited by the ghost of an old sea witch. These legends, in various guises, have been around since Sumerian times as a way to make sense of those frightening occasions when we wake up paralyzed, unable to move from the neck down. What you may not realize is that we all experience sleep paralysis every night, but for the most part we dream our way right through it.

During the REM sleep cycle most rich in dreaming, our body releases a chemical that makes our voluntary muscles go limp. It’s our body’s way of protecting us from thrashing around as we fight our dream dragons. In fact, it’s more of a problem if the paralysis doesn’t happen – this leads to REM sleep behaviour disorder, the dangerous propensity to physically act out one’s dreams, and it can be a precursor to Parkinson’s disease.

If you suffer from sleep paralysis, it helps to know that this is just your mind waking up from the state of dreaming before your body, when it should be the other way around. Or your body drifting right into REM sleep, and your muscles going lax before your mind has truly shut down for the night. This can happen for various reasons, mostly to do with insufficient or irregular sleep, and most often it is a benign physiological event. Terrifying but harmless.

It also helps to know that sleep paralysis episodes are short, typically lasting about 20 seconds. It may feel like much longer if you are frozen in fear as the Old Hag bears down on your chest. If something like this happens again, try to take some long deep breaths and wait for the images and sensations to subside. Remind yourself that it won’t take long. If you also experience banging noises or flashes of light, this is another parasomnia with the colorful name of  exploding head syndrome. This is equally harmless and tends to last just a few seconds, so wait it out and try not to be alarmed!

Not everyone experiences sleep paralysis as an evil old hag. There are many variations of experience, and these fall into three main categories. First is the experience of an intruder, a malevolent felt presence that is sometimes visible and/or audible, but not always. The second type is called incubus, and this is experienced as a supernatural assault, a sense of being smothered, or of a great weight on the chest. These two types are well-known and often combined.

A third kind of sleep paralysis involves unusual bodily experiences (or vestibulo-motor phenomena) such as flying, out-of-body experiences or false awakenings, and some of these can be experienced as blissful. However, the vast majority of reported episodes of all three types of sleep paralysis are terrifying. Understandably, most people who wake up unable to move, and with a sensation of being trapped in their own body, react with fear. The fear itself may exacerbate the sensations of shortness of breath and chest pressure, as these are common features of panic.

What can you do about sleep paralysis

This is an area that has not been studied very well; there have been no formal clinical trials testing treatment. However, since sleep paralysis is correlated with disrupted or insufficient sleep, an obvious step is to observe good sleep hygiene: go to sleep and wake up at consistent times, no caffeine before bed, and avoid sleeping on your back. Sleep paralysis is also associated with hypertension, hypersomnia, sleep apnea and alcohol use. Not surprisingly, it is common in shift workers and others with disrupted sleep schedules.

Therapeutic interventions may be warranted if sleep paralysis is frequent and distressing enough to warrant the diagnosis of recurrent isolated sleep paralysis (RISP). Some anti-depressant medications can help, as can psychotherapy and psychoeducation, especially if it is underlying anxiety or depression that is contributing to the condition. Having a basic understanding of sleep paralysis can help; the knowledge that such episodes are normal and will end soon can make the event itself less scary.

Taking control

During an episode, you might be able to take charge of the dream state as one would in lucid dreaming. It is possible to realize that while you may not be in control of your body at the moment, you do have some control over your subjective experience. Try to remain calm and as curious as you can – this is a chance to observe yourself in the dream state. After an episode, or as a way to lessen the intensity of a future episode, you can try a version of imagery rescripting. This can set you up for a better experience should the Old Hag revisit. The idea is simply to re-imagine the experience, letting it become a different story, possibly with a different character or ending, and this may seed a more benign future encounter.

A caveat: much of the above is based on clinical literature. There are many other ways that people make sense of ‘Old Hag’ experiences that differ from this view. Some are culturally determined, and others are based on the beliefs formed through direct experience. There are those who welcome this altered state of consciousness. My desire in writing this is simply to help and inform, so use what you find valuable and leave the rest.

If you are interested in learning more about nightmares and their treatment, sign up for my short, focused online course. Because I feel this material is important to disseminate, the course is always open, is self-paced, and currently discounted during the virus crisis. Please ask your clients if they have nightmares, and let them know they are treatable. CLICK HERE for a free PDF for clients: What You Can Do About Your Nightmares. Or check out our Short Focused Course on Nightmare Treatment using THIS LINK.  

References

Cheyne, J.A. (2005), Sleep paralysis episode frequency and number, types, and structure of associated hallucinations. Journal of Sleep Research, 14: 319-324. doi:10.1111/j.1365-2869.2005.00477.x

Cox A. M. (2015). Sleep paralysis and folklore. JRSM open, 6(7), 2054270415598091. https://doi.org/10.1177/2054270415598091

Sharpless B. A. (2016). A clinician’s guide to recurrent isolated sleep paralysis. Neuropsychiatric disease and treatment, 12, 1761–1767. https://doi.org/10.2147/NDT.S100307

Solomonova, E. (2018). Sleep Paralysis: phenomenology, neurophysiology and treatment. In: Fox, K & Christoff, K. (Eds). The Oxford Handbook of Spontaneous Thought: Mind-Wandering, Creativity, Dreaming, and Clinical Conditions. New York: Oxford University Press.

Are you a parent concerned about the frequency and intensity of your child’s bad dreams? Should you be concerned?
Learn more about Nightmare Relief for Everyone designed by nightmare expert Dr. Leslie Ellis, this self-paced user-friendly and accessible online course covers the very latest in science and research about what nightmares are, and what they’re not. Leslie offers some simple steps you can take to get some relief from nightmares and other nocturnal disturbances – both for yourself and for others, including your children.

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Turning Toward Our Nightmares: How This Paradoxical Move Helps Us

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The surprising thing about nightmares is that there is nothing to fear. This is not to dismiss them. They feel absolutely real, and our heart-pounding response to them is also very real. But as frightening as the characters and situations nightmares depict may be, the dreams themselves are like paper tigers, playing out on the screen of our imagination. Believe it or not, they are trying to help us, not hurt us. The broad consensus among nightmare therapists and researchers alike is that dreams help us regulate our challenging emotions, and that nightmares are part of the natural recovery process from trauma. So rather than avoid them — the understandable response to something that scares us — we need to turn and face them.

Curiosity, an alternative to fight or flight

How we turn and face the fears represented in our dreams truly matters. For inspiration, consider the example of black blues musician Daryl Davis who spent 30 years befriending members of the Ku Klux Klan. Person by person, through one-on-one conversations, Davis changed a relationship of hate and fear to one of mutual understanding. The more we know about the so-called ‘other’ the harder it is to hate and fear them. In the process befriending the ‘enemy’, Davis convinced more than 200 KKK members to give up their robes. This same act of turning toward the other with respect and open-mindedness is what I advocate doing with our dreams.

I suggest taking particular interest in the dreams that scare us because they hold the greatest potential for expanding our personal capacity and understanding. When I invite my dreamwork clients to explore their dreams in experiential ways, they are often surprised at what they find. They begin to understand, via direct experience that the monsters in their dreams are represented in such a way because the image is colored by their own perception of it. We tend to fear what we don’t know. As soon as we enter into relationship with something, the dynamic begins to change.

Consider Mary’s dream. In it she is standing on a beach and sees a tsunami coming. She tries to run and there is a sense that she is never going to make it up the slope in time. The wave is coming too fast, and will certainly bury her in its mountain of water. So she decides instead to turn toward it. When she does that, turns toward the powerful ocean and calmly holds her ground, it becomes a harmless wave that dissipates at her feet.

Also consider the dream of ‘Flora,’ a refugee who fled her native Congo due to political persecution. She had a recurring dream that a group of men with guns circled her and were going to kill her because they thought she possessed incriminating information. Like the classic dreams of post-traumatic stress injury, this dream was almost an exact replay of what actually happened to her. She was confronted and froze in terror, unable to speak. In therapy, she was invited to dream the dream forward; she stood and faced her attackers and found her voice. This empowering action changed her relationship to the dream, took away the charge. The nightmares that had been plaguing her for years simply stopped.

This idea of changing the ending of our nightmares is not a new one. Carl Jung was the first to suggest we engage with our dreams by ‘dreaming the dream on.’ Nightmare rescripting has now become the main method for clinical work with traumatic nightmares, and while it doesn’t always work as well as it did for Flora, it has been shown mostly to help and even when it doesn’t, it causes no harm.

Working with childrens’ dreams

The same technique can be used for helping children with nightmares, which is a good thing because kids have much more frequent nightmares than adults. You might offer a child this example from the movie Shrek: Donkey was initially terrified of the dragon, but when he turned and looked at her more carefully, and noticed her long, fluttering eyelashes, his feelings changed from fear to love. Cue the voice of Eddie Murphy saying, ‘Oh! I didn’t you were a girl dragon.’ And in that moment, everything changed.

Children are still immersed in the world of their imagination, so dream rescripting comes quite naturally to them. They can readily imagine their bed turns into a magic carpet that takes them up and away from danger. Or even better, like Donkey, they can turn toward their dream dragons and make friends with them. This is far more effective than telling them their dream is not real, because as we all know, the amazing thing about dreams is how very real they feel when we are in them. Telling them it’s ‘just a dream’ dismisses their experience without mending it.

A caveat. The underlying feelings need attention and this can take time.

While it is true that turning toward our dream dragons with curiosity and as much friendliness as we can muster is very often helpful, it is not a panacea. Dreams are a part of our emotional regulation process. Nightmares that we turn toward will help us understand and face our fears, and when we come to terms with the intense feelings they represent, our dreams will reflect a calmer landscape. This can happen immediately, but more often over weeks or months. It will take longer if the effects of trauma are ongoing, or the dream reflects a major loss and the grieving process is current.

The point is, no matter how long it takes, it is better to turn toward your dreams and the emotions that ride in on their waves than to ignore or dismiss them. In dreams, as in life, it is the things that we engage with actively and with open curiosity that can evolve and change. Ultimately, the message is a hopeful one. If turning toward the ‘other’ can transform the hate of hundreds of former KKK members, then surely we all can tame our dream dragons. Maybe, like Donkey, we can even fall in love.

 

If you are interested in learning more about nightmares and their treatment, sign up for my short, focused online course. Because I feel this material is important to disseminate, the course is always open, is self-paced, and currently discounted during the virus crisis. Please ask your clients if they have nightmares, and let them know they are treatable. CLICK HERE for a free PDF for clients: What You Can Do About Your Nightmares. Or check out our Short Focused Course on Nightmare Treatment using THIS LINK.  

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A Brief Introduction to Experiential Dreamwork

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Have you noticed that your dreams are more dynamic and intense during these uncertain times? You are not alone. Many people are reporting increased nightmares and disturbed dreaming, and want to know what this means and what to do with their dreams.

This introductory course in experiential dreamwork will give participants several simple yet powerful ideas about how to engage with dreams in a way that helps regulate emotion and constructively process the difficult feelings arising in the world right now. The course will include self-help exercises you can try on your own, and methods that will help inform your dreamwork with clients. It will include live demonstrations of the experiential dreamwork methods discussed, including finding and embodying help in a dream, entering into the subjective experience of dream characters and elements, and dreaming the dream onward.

Clinically relevant. There will also be information about how to use dreams as diagnostic, as indicators of clinical progress, and as a safe way to work with trauma. 4.5 CE credits offered.

Join dream expert Dr. Leslie Ellis for 3 Tuesday afternoon dreamwork sessions in July. During these 90-minute zoom sessions, she will introduce some fun and fascinating information about dreams, answer your questions and show you how to engage with your dreams in an experiential way. Sessions will include a brief talk about dreams, a chance to ask questions, and a live dreamwork demonstration.

This course will be of interest to mental health professionals who want to incorporate dreamwork in their practice, and to anyone interested in deepening their relationship with dreams. It is also an opportunity to try out a short version of Dr. Ellis’ courses. For those who want to continue on to the year-long Embodied Experiential Dreamwork Certification program starting in Fall 2020, this course fee will be credited.

Dates:              July 7, 14 and 21, 2:00 pm to 3:30 PDT (5:00-6:30 PM EDT)

Location:         Zoom

Cost:                $127 USD (or $87 for those needing a discount, no questions asked!)

Recordings:     Available to registrants

Questions?      Ask Leslie lae2317@gmail.com

Register here.  And bring your dreams…

Dr. Leslie Ellis is an author, teacher, speaker and clinical dreamworker. Her book, A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy (Routledge, 2019) offers therapists a primer in modern, experiential dreamwork. She has written numerous book chapters and articles on experiential focusing and dreamwork. Her award-winning PhD research developed a nightmare treatment process for refugees. She developed her somatic, experiential focus through extensive study of focusing. She is currently president of The International Focusing Institute. She studied depth psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute and her practice is a hybrid of Jungian and focusing-oriented approaches. She is also an expert in treatment of complex trauma and post-traumatic stress injury and developed and taught trauma theory at Adler University in Vancouver.

What former dreams students say about Leslie’s online dreamwork courses:

Leslie presents in a well-modulated, soothing voice that carries the recorded commentary sessions and the live interaction sessions very well.  She is a calmly-confident and organized teacher who is clear and concise in her outlining of concepts.  She demonstrates an excellent grasp of the broad swathe of dream literature her clinical training and work has taken her through…from Carl Jung to contemporary neuroscience.  Leslie is skillful in her facilitation of the live dream-work sessions, ensuring a sense of participant safety while encouraging and containing the group’s participation with an attitude of openness and respect.

I can highly recommend both Leslie’s book and this online course.  I have come away enriched and expanded by this learning opportunity.”

Catherine Johnson, Clinical Psychologist, Trauma and Focusing Oriented therapist; Cape Town, South Africa

“Dreaming is a fascinating but hard field to explore. Leslie is an enthusiastic and experienced pioneer. Her book and course help me find a torch and a map. As a therapist, I use these tools to help my clients go into their experiences and hearts. Highly recommended.” – Sicong Cao, psychotherapist, Wuhan, China

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Dreamwork for Yourself, a guided, leisurely journey

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Dreamwork for Yourself: Syllabus, March/April 2020

 

This pilot course will take you on a journey, via your dreams, deep into your inner world. As a cohort, we will explore various personal practices aimed at recalling, recording and then deeply experiencing our own dreams. We will learn what works best for each of us as methods to glean insight and meaning from our dreams, and offer these back to others in the class. By the end of the course, you will have clear, established method for personal dream exploration, and as part of the process, you will have taken a journey into the depths of your inner world.

Instructor: Dr. Leslie Ellis

Dr. Ellis is a world expert in the clinical use of dreams, with a specialty in working with PTSD nightmares. She has a PhD in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology and a Masters in Counselling Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. She is vice president of The International Focusing Institute and has more than 20 years’ experience in clinical practice. She has taught a focusing certification program to therapists for more than 10 years, and is now offering online instruction in dreamwork to therapists and anyone interested in cultivating inner life through dreamwork, focusing and active imagination. She is the author of A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy (Routledge, 2019), as well as numerous papers and book chapters on focusing and embodied, experiential dreamwork. She has also taught and delivered talks worldwide and is a keynote speaker at the 2020 conference for the International Association for the Study of Dreams.

Format:

Each month, Dr. Ellis will offer a new self-dreamwork practice, with examples and invite you to explore the technique using your own dreams. The course will be offered via several formats, including video presentations, live sessions, and both written and podcast format. All material will be recorded so you can revisit it, or catch up on any live material you miss. There will be a venue for sharing your experiences of each practice, and learning from the experience of others.

Timing:

Monthly live sessions, third Wednesday of each month, beginning March 4, 2020 from 3:00-4:30 PM PDT Second session April 1. All sessions recorded and available to all course participants whether you attend live or not. Enrolment open until April 15, 2020.

The course will be delivered over 8 sessions beginning in March 2020. Because the course is leisurely and self-paced, it is fine to join in after the class has started. You can watch the recorded live sessions, and take the material at whatever pace suits you.

Topics will include:

Recalling and recording your dreams

Why are dreams so important to attend to?

Working with associations: writing your dreams

Art and creativity: representing and experiencing your dreams

Focusing and active imagination: dialogue with your dreams

Re-entering the dream: being your dream elements, and dreaming forward

Follow the feeling: dreams as picture metaphors of emotion

Bias control: trying on opposites, illuminating blind spots

Co-creative dreamwork: attending to inner and outer relational dynamics

Waking up in your dreams: cultivating lucid awareness

Talking about your dreams: telling others

Dreamwork with others: collective dreamwork practices for everyone

Special topics: available upon request

 

Reading and assignments:

There will be many optional resources available to you including short pieces I will write specifically on the topic of the month, book recommendations and articles. But this is meant to be more of an experiential than an academic journey, so the emphasis will be on time for your own dream exploration and sharing of what you discover. You will also be encouraged to read and comment on the experiences of your classmates.

 

Dates, details, pricing

The course opens in March, with enrolment open until April 15 (and you are welcome to join us as a self-paced course after that).

It will run over 8 sessions, ending October 2020. You have the choice to stay in step with the group or go through the modules at your own pace.

Cost for the course will be $297 USD. Scholarships available, please inquire. Questions, contact lae2317@gmail.com  Register at www.drleslieellis.com/dreamwork-course

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Working With Your Dream: How to journal associations

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This is a sample of one of the written prompts for the course, a free offering to give you a sense of how to use journaling to explore associations to your dream. The course will go beyond this to include both written and live group discussion, video presentations, responses to questions and more. It’s not too late to join us! You can still sign up here.

 

Module One: Journaling to explore associations to dream elements

Welcome to the beginning of a deeper exploration into the world of your own dreams… online and in the company of others. I am so glad you have chosen to join me in this grand experiment! And because you have come this far, it’s safe to assume you are curious about your dreams and aware of their tremendous value for self-exploration and growth.

Above all, I want you to enjoy this journey, and come away with many practical ways to engage with your own dreams. So I will offer prompts, personal examples, coaching and a venue to share the feedback and experiences of your fellow travellers as we experiment with the best ways to unlock the tremendous potential inherent in our dreams. I will introduce one new practice each month so that you have the time to explore it at your leisure, try it with several dreams, ask questions and develop a feel for it.

 

Journaling associations

Seeking associations to dream elements was introduced by Freud as a way to tease out the so-called latent or hidden meaning behind the dream. Modern dreamworkers do not believe that the dream is trying to hide its message in some kind of code. Rather, the strangeness of dream language comes from the quality of dreaming consciousness, which draws more from the image and emotional processing centres of our brain than from our logical, rational mind.

This brings me to an important point. Because dreams do not come from the part of our brain that processes in a logical, sequential fashion, it means that we need not seek to understand our dreams from this perspective. Let go of the need to make logical sense of your dream, and instead treat it as an experience, a work of art, a metaphor, a message from another realm… this frees you up to simply play with the images, and allow them to infuse you with the complex feelings they carry.

 

Frog dream, an example

I will offer you an example of the process from my own dream life. I would suggest you start with a simple dream, and see where the journaling leads. Try to remain open-minded and curious, exploring what arises from your dream images with no particular goal in mind. This opens up your right-hemisphere functioning, the non-logical side of your brain that is most aligned with dreamwork. Here is my dream text:

I dreamt about a sleek, very large brown frog that I had picked up out of a square container. There were other elements to the dream, but I have forgotten them. It seemed very important to hold on to the frog, despite some other tasks distracting me. I was considering making it a pet. It was huge for a frog, and instead of reptilian skin, it had a silky brown coat, very short hair, gorgeous brown colour. It was warm and alive and seemed fine with being held.

 

My Associations

In the introduction to this course, I wrote about a stunning dream of swimming in a pool of frogs when I was pregnant with my daughter Grace, now 20

I just took a day trip with Grace to Idylwild and bought a big brass frog, with a plan to acquire similar objects for a sand tray collection

The frog’s short-haired coat reminds me of my dog Savannah

The frog itself is more pet-like and cuddly than a typical frog, more a dog-frog

I think of frogs as powerful healing symbols, but also warnings because when an ecosystem is in trouble, frogs begin to disappear

 

I could go further, but want to stop here and notice that I am already beginning to get some sense of this dream frog, which at first seemed like a complete mystery. Its qualities are becoming fleshed out, and it seems connected with my daughter, affection, health… and it may also be a kind of a warning.

 

A word about dream dictionaries…

At this point, you might be tempted to consult a dream dictionary that explains what your dream image means. I am not a fan of this approach, except possibly to augment and amplify your associations after you have explored them thoroughly. If you are still mystified by a dream image once you’ve worked with your own associations, then a symbol dictionary may bring up additional ideas that resonate. But if you go to a dictionary first, the book’s idea may stick and prevent you from seeing the uniquely personal relationships you have with the image.

That said, if you want the help of a dictionary, I recommend An Illustrated Encyclopaedia of Traditional Symbols by J.C. Cooper (Thames and Hudson, 1978). It offers interpretations of symbols from various spiritual traditions. If I look up frog, it says this: Lunar and a rain-bringer; fertility, fecundity, eroticism… and the text goes on to offer short descriptions of what the frog means in Celtic, Chinese, Christian, Egyptian, Graeco-Roman and Hindu traditions. All seem to point to the frog as abundant and fertile… and in the Egyptian tradition, frog is protector of mothers and the newborn, so it is a lovely image to dream of when pregnant.

 

Staying close to the image

The trouble with dream dictionaries and even taking the associative process too far, is that it takes you away from the immediacy of the image itself. So when you play with associations, always refer back to your dream. In this case, I need to make sure I don’t lose touch with my silky brown dream frog as I explore more generic ideas about frogs.

Another way to explore associations is to get an embodied sense of the image itself, and see what comes up from the inside about it. When I do that, I am reminded of the sense in my dream that it’s important to carry this frog with me, not to put it down. I can feel the weight of it in my hand. It makes it awkward to do the other tasks that are calling to me in the dream, but the sense of deep importance of the frog comes through loud and clear. One thing I have taken from this process already, is the need to stay connected to my daughter even more. She is away at university, at times extremely stressed, and in general, just feels too far away. So after writing this, I plan to reach out to her.

I could go further, but I don’t want to burden you with too much to read. I hope this gives you a sense of how to begin. Each module has a space for your comments and questions, and I hope you will all be moved to share something of your own experience as we go: what came of the process, what works for you, what doesn’t, and where you have questions. Above all, enjoy!

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Do your dreams both fascinate and mystify you? We have answers!

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Dreams are invaluable allies in our relationship with ourselves, but for most people, they seem like a nonsensical mystery, or they are barely ever recalled. How do we remember and make sense of them? I have some answers for you…

When I wrote my first book, A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy (Routledge, 2019), I spent more than a year researching ways to help therapists guide clients to use their dreams as a pathway towards an enriched, authentic life, and toward greater freedom from mental health issues. Now I plan to make this information accessible to everyone, whether you work clinically with dreams or not. So many of you have asked me for ways to personally work with your dreams that I am now working on a course and a book on this fun and fascinating topic. And I’m hoping you can help me by joining my pilot course.

 

Free video series answers the most common questions about dreams

When I talk about my work and writing about dreams, the first thing people tend to ask is how to remember their dreams. I have the answer for you here as Part 1 of a 3-part free video series. Part 2 explains why it is so important to pay attention to dreams: they can even save your life! And Part 3 offers three dreamwork practices you can use right away to deepen your experience and understanding of your own dreams.

The second question people tend to ask me about my clinical dream book is, can I use the information as a guide to understanding my own dreams? Is it written so anyone can understand it? The answer is yes, although is written mainly for clinicians, it is written in a user-friendly that is accessible to all.

 

Overcoming the challenges of working with your own dreams

But also no, it’s not the best guide to dreamwork for yourself. This is because there are special considerations when you are working on your own dreams. It’s just much easier to spot the foibles of others than it is to clearly see the blind spots in ourselves. So we tend to transfer this bias onto our own work with dreams. However, there are many ways to compensate for this and develop a deep connection with yourself via your dreams, and I will be teaching you all about these, and other ways to overcome potential challenges of personal dreamwork.

From March 2020 onward, I will be offering an ongoing program in dreamwork for yourself that will culminate in the publication of my next book. Each month, we will learn about and try out a new self-dreamwork practice and discuss our experiences as a cohort. We will talk about what was amazing, and what fell flat. We will brainstorm ideas about how to glean the most from our dreams, and share our breakthroughs.

This is a pilot course that will ultimately be offered more widely. The first cohort will be limited in size, and you will receive a discount in return for your feedback, active participation and willingness to act as part of a focus group of sorts on the topic of personal dreamwork. So it will be more interactive and hands-on, with more instructor involvement than future versions. With your permission, I may include some of your thoughts and dreams in the book itself! And of course if you want your dreams to remain private, I will completely respect that.

 

Check out the free video series

For a taste of my teaching, and more on the topic of working with your own dreams, enjoy this series of short videos. If you have already decided you want to join me for the course, you can get more detailed information and register here. Space will be limited, and this discounted rate ($297) and higher level of interaction will only be offered this one time as we co-create the course and enjoy discovering the most effective self-dreamwork practices together!

Sweet dreams, Leslie

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Come home to yourself via your dreams

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Is your inner life getting lost in the fray? Are you feeling overwhelmed with information, tasks and all the shiny objects that bombard us from the online world? Yes, this is another invitation, but one with a difference. This is an invitation to slow down and look inward, an opportunity to come home to yourself through your dreams.

If you have ever been utterly transported by a dream, immersed in a startlingly-real other world that has set your mood and train of thought on an entirely different path than is usual, then you know the power of dreams to evoke transformation. Most people I talk to about dreams are curious about them, fascinated even. You can sense they are pregnant with deeper meaning, but often frustrated that you cannot penetrate their mysterious nature.

Maybe you don’t dream very much, at least not as much as you used to. You may wake with a sense of having dreamt something profound – having solved the world’s problems (or your own) in your sleep — only to have this remarkable insight slip away the moment you open your eyes. Or you could be someone who recalls your dreams vividly, but then remains mystified by them.

 

Letting a big dream pass by without reflection is a huge missed opportunity

All the dreams that pass by without you actively engaging with them are missed opportunities to tend your inner life and reconnect with your depths. Dreams are the most direct, creative and personalized path to connecting with what is most important and meaningful to you. Unlike other forms of inner work like meditation and mindfulness, dreams are speaking directly to you. They’ve been called the ‘poor (wo)man’s therapist’ because they help us process our most salient emotions and memories night after night. But they are even more helpful if we know how to tend and work with them.

Would you like to be able to recall, record and work with your own dreams? Would you like a clearer understanding of their nature, and why they are so important? Or are you already working with some of your dreams via a dream group or therapist, but want a reliable way to entertain the dreams you don’t get a chance to discuss?

 

Your questions answered in a free short video series

If you said yes to any of the questions above, I have some immediate answers for you. In three 10-minute instalments, I tell you:

  1. How to recall more dreams
  2. Why dreams are so important
  3. Three simple practices aimed at making sense of and deepening your connection to your own dreams.

If you like what you see, you may want to join me in my 6-month online course on how to work with your own dreams. If you are intrigued, but not sure, check out the videos to get a sense of my teaching style and the material we will cover. And read on as I explain more.

 

A leaisurely, guided inward journey in the company of others

This is not a typical online course, but more of a guided inward journey in the company of other dreamers. The pace will be leisurely, allowing time for you to gather dreams, to spend time with the practices offered, and to reflect on them with other like-minded dreamers. The course, starting in early March, will be uniquely collaborative because it is the first time I’m offering it. In return for your feedback and active participation, I am offering a discounted rate.

The initial cohort will be a kind of focus group for the book I am writing on the topic of personal dreamwork. The class is also the first step in a comprehensive dreamwork certification program, so you can continue to deepen your dreamwork practice beyond this course if you want to.

 

How did I come to value dreams so much?

I have always been a bit of a dreamer, both day and night. As a kid, one of my favorite activities when I came home from school was to sit backwards on the couch and stare at the huge maple in our front yard. I would lose time as I drifted into the world of my imagination. People could shout in my ear and I wouldn’t hear.

Fast-forward many years to my 20-year career as a psychotherapist. As part of my training, I worked with a Jungian analyst, and as we opened up my inner life, I began to dream prolifically. When I was pregnant with my beautiful daughter Grace, I dreamt of being immersed in a forested pool of frogs. As her birth approached, I began to dream about my own very premature birth, not an easy one, and in fact, I was lucky to survive. My dreams helped me access and process this dramatic and triumphant start in life, weaving images of myself in an incubator with another near-death experience in a frothy river. (See my TED-style talk on nightmares for more of the story.)

In my work with clients, with dream groups and in the many classes I have taught, I have consistently found dreams to offer healing images, ways forward where none seems possible, and strikingly apt and densely-packed vignettes that are perfect for the person who dreamt them. Consistently, dreams bring just what is needed in the moment.

But almost all of us need help unpacking the treasures in our dreams. I have written a book for therapists on how to do this for clients. Now I am writing a book and a course for everyone interested in their dreams, and how you can begin working with them on your own. You don’t have to be a therapist, all are welcome.