Category: Dreams

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Does Your Child Have Nightmares?

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When should you be concerned, and what should you do?

All of us can clearly recall at least one heart-pounding, fear-inducing nightmare from childhood that startled us out of our sleep. Whether it was a chasing dragon or a precipitous fall from a great height, it felt so real it left us shaken long after awakening. However, as adults we know that there isn’t a monster under our beds waiting to snatch us, even if we just dreamt about one. For children, nightmares can be confusing because they feel so very real. And as young children, the line between fantasy and reality is blurred,

Nightmares are completely normal phenomena, especially for children. They usually begin between age 2-4 and tail off by age 10-12. They are a developmental process and are a normal response to fear. They can be triggered by stressful events like starting school, family illness or conflict. In fact, nightmares can actually help process emotional events.

However, despite their potential to be helpful, nightmares do cause considerable distress and can disrupt sleep. So how can you help your child if they have frequent and distressing dreams?

  1. OFFER COMFORT AND SAFETY

Give them a hug, let them know they’re safe, that they’re not alone. Their nervous system is in a charged state. They need soothing to restore a sense of safety in their bodies.

  1. DON’T DISMISS DREAMS

Don’t try to talk them out of their experience or dismiss their dream using logic. In an attempt to offer comfort, don’t say, “It was just a dream, it’s not real” and expect that to be the end of it. Children experience their dreams as very real, and for certain, the intense feelings nightmares stir up are tangibly experienced.

  1. NORMALIZE TALKING ABOUT DREAMS

Ask your child about their nightmares. If they feel okay telling you about it, listen to the story of their dream. Sharing it with you will help take away some of the charge. It gives them a way to talk about their fears. There may be pressures they are facing that you have no idea about. Growing up is fraught with uncertainty and challenges that may seem inconsequential from an adult perspective.

Some children rarely articulate what’s scary for them, so we don’t get a chance to dispel needless worries or offer help. But their nightmares can do the talking for them in the form of metaphors and expressions of their main concerns.

Keep tabs on your child’s dream life, especially if it seems unusually dark and disturbing. If you make talking about dreams a normal part of the routine, you’ll know how often your child has nightmares and how distressing they are. You’ll be in a good position to know if professional help is warranted. And you will have gathered useful information to convey to a therapist about your child’s sleep.

  1. WHEN TO CONSIDER PROFESSIONAL HELP

Nightmares are considered chronic if they happen every week or more for at least 6 months. Fully 5% of children between the ages of 3-10 experience chronic nightmares, and for many, this is a normal developmental process. However, if chronic nightmares persist past about age 10, they are more likely to continue into adolescence and beyond. Age 9-11 is a critical juncture, a time to consider treatment if your child continues to have frequent, distressing nightmares.

Fortunately, effective treatment is available.

Imagery Rehearsal Therapy, (IRT) has been found to be effective in numerous controlled clinical trials in adult populations (ie with veterans and rape victims). This evidence has also been extended to children in a number of smaller studies that have shown it to reduce nightmare frequency, distress and general anxiety in children. Results were sustained 6-9 months post-treatment.

Imagery Rehearsal Therapy (IRT) is the most highly-recommended approach to nightmare treatment for any age group. Other protocols, like Exposure, Relaxation and Rescripting (ERRT) appear to work as well, but have simply not been studied as much. IRT is a non-invasive, cognitive behavioural approach that simply asks the dreamer to imagine and rehearse a new dream ending. This seeds a new story that often weaves its way into future dreams. One study showed that some children using IRT spontaneously became lucid after treatment and were able to alter their nightmares from right inside the dream.

  1. TRY DREAM THERAPY AT HOME

The original protocol for IRT suggests changing the dream in any way you want. However, for children, I recommend asking them the shift the dream in ways that help them feel better about the dream, ideally ways that bring a sense of hope and mastery.

To try your own version of this approach, first help your child feel safe and calm. Then ask them to recall their nightmare briefly, perhaps just up to the place where they might want something about the dream to change. Then ask them what they imagine could happen next in the dream to make the dream better. For example, ask what form of help, escape route, magic or superpower they might want to use. Let them know it’s their dream, and they can change it it any way they like.

For example, suppose your child dreams there is an evil monster under the bed, lurking and waiting for a limb to dangle over the edge so it can grab an arm or leg and drag them under. You could ask your child to imagine going back into their dream, to the part before it got scary. They could change the dream so what’s now under the bed is a favorite toy, perhaps a cuddly teddy bear that comes to life and takes them off to play in the clouds.

Or they might dream of a fire-breathing dragon chasing them. Often, it can really help to turn and face the dragon or monster, to really see it and perhaps ask what it wants. I did this with my daughter, reminding her of how I often sang Puff the Magic Dragon to her at bedtime. Her dream dragon became like Puff — lonely and in need of a friend. When playing with how to rescript nightmare, encourage children to give their imagination free rein, offer suggestions and keep it positive.

After rescripting, a further step in IRT is to rehearse the new dream ending, something children may need to be reminded to do. You can do a number of things to reinforce the new dream imagery for a child. You might suggest they draw a picture of it, imagine it again during the day, and/or tell you about it again as you tuck them in at bedtime.

What happens when we reimagine our nightmares or help our kids to do so? Sometimes the new dream ending becomes incorporated into future dreams, making them less frightening. Other times, people report a new ability to change their dreams from within. And sometimes the nightmare just stops coming. If the process doesn’t work the first time, try again, and play with different dreams as they come up. Do seek professional help if chronic nightmares persist or the process itself is upsetting (this is extremely rare). With the right support, and in time, your child will have fewer, less distressing nightmares. They may even come to cherish their dreams.

 

Are you a parent concerned about the frequency and intensity of your child’s bad dreams? Should you be concerned?
Learn more about Nightmare Relief for Everyone designed by nightmare expert Dr. Leslie Ellis, this self-paced user-friendly and accessible online course covers the very latest in science and research about what nightmares are, and what they’re not. Leslie offers some simple steps you can take to get some relief from nightmares and other nocturnal disturbances – both for yourself and for others, including your children.

 

References

Fernandez, S., DeMarni Cromer, L., Borntrager, C., Swopes, R., Hanson, R. F., & Davis, J. L. (2013). A Case Series: Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment (Exposure, Relaxation, and Rescripting Therapy) of Trauma-Related Nightmares Experienced by Children. Clinical Case Studies, 12(1), 39–59. https://doi.org/10.1177/1534650112462623

Mélanie St-Onge, Pierre Mercier & Joseph De Koninck (2009) Imagery Rehearsal Therapy for Frequent Nightmares in Children, Behavioral Sleep Medicine, 7:2, 81-98, DOI: 10.1080/15402000902762360

Schredl, M., Fricke-Oerkermann, L., Mitschke, A., Wiater, A., & Lehmkuhl, G. (2009). Factors affecting nightmares in children: parents’ vs. children’s ratings. European child & adolescent psychiatry, 18(1), 20–25. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-008-0697-5

Schredl, M., Fricke-Oerkermann, L., Mitschke, A. et al. Longitudinal Study of Nightmares in Children: Stability and Effect of Emotional Symptoms. Child Psychiatry Hum Dev 40, 439–449 (2009). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10578-009-0136-y

Simard, V., & Nielsen, T. (2009). Adaptation of imagery rehearsal therapy for nightmares in children: A brief report. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 46(4), 492–497. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017945

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Does Your Child Wake Up Screaming? How to understand and treat night terrors

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I used to dread going to bed when we lived in my lovely heritage apartment in Vancouver. Every night, about two hours after falling asleep, I would be startled awake by the most blood-curdling, agonizing screaming from the woman next door. Her window faced ours, and she sounded as though she was being murdered in her sleep almost every night. I wondered why no one would wake her up or help her. I have since learned that this would not have done much good as she was having night terrors.

So many people I’ve spoken with about this have suffered the same thing with their children. Night terrors are fairly common in very young children, affecting 20-40% of children under age 3, and 3-14% of school age children, but just 2% of adults (APA 2013). In a typical episode, parents will put their child quietly to bed only to hear them thrashing and screaming in terror about three hours later. The kids were hard to fully wake up, disoriented and confused, often with little or no memory of the incident in the morning.

Night terrors are often mistaken for nightmares. At a recent talk I gave about nightmares, most of the questions were actually about night terrors – from desperate parents wanting to know if there was something they could do about them. I treat nightmares, not night terrors, but I did some investigation, and there are a few things to know and to do that can help. First and foremost, know that they are generally benign and kids usually grow out of them.

Who Has Night Terrors?

Before I get into some of the ways you can help your child with their night terrors, it helps to understand what they are, who has them and why. A thorough survey of the literature suggests that although the exact cause is not well understood, genetic, developmental, environmental, psychological and organic factors can all play a part.

Night terrors most common in early childhood. A longitudinal study (Petit et al., 2015) of 1,940 children from Quebec found that 34% of children aged 18 months experience night terrors, 13% at age 5, and 5% at age 13. A recent review (Leung et al., 2020) found the peak may be later, at age 5-7 years. Either way, sleep terrors typically start at a very young age and stop at adolescence. It’s rare that the condition continues into adulthood – although for some it can switch to sleepwalking.

Sleep terrors are more common under a number of conditions that can be controlled, at least to some degree, such as: sleep deprivation, going to bed with a full bladder, emotional stress, anxiety (including separation anxiety), bullying, a noisy sleeping environment and excessive alcohol or caffeine. Other factors associated with this parasomnia include: febrile illness (unexplained fever), ADHD, autism, epilepsy, sleep apnea and PTSD. Some medications, especially those that are sedative, can lead to night terrors because they increase the duration of non-REM, the deep sleep stage in which these episodes occur.

It bears repeating the while night terrors are very distressing and can disrupt sleep for both children and their parents, they are not considered dangerous. They warrant clinical attention only if they are severe enough to disrupt daytime functioning. If you are considering consulting a doctor, keep a sleep diary and track BEARS. Not the big furry animal, but the 5-item assessment tool for children with sleep problems (Owens & Dalzell, 2005):

  • B: bedtime issues
  • E: excessive daytime sleepiness
  • A: night awakenings
  • R: regularity and duration of sleep
  • S: snoring

What Are Night Terrors?

In a typical episode, the child will sit bolt upright or even jump out of bed, heart racing, screaming in terror. They may speak, but what they say will be confused and incoherent because although they appear to be awake, they are in a hybrid sleep-wake state. They will be difficult to wake fully because these episodes occur during very deep (slow-wave) sleep. It’s best not to wake them up during an episode, and typically they won’t recall a thing in the morning.

Night terrors are distinguished from nightmares because they happen in the first half of the night associated with the deeper (stage 3 and 4) of non-REM sleep, while nightmares mainly occur in the second half, and are associated more with REM sleep and dreaming. Nightmares are clearly recalled in vivid detail, and those who have them tend not to thrash around and scream.

Night terrors are much more common in children. When they continue into adulthood, they look a bit different. While two-thirds of children have no recollection after episodes of night terrors or sleepwalking, the same proportion of adults do recall at least one experience and remember their episodes about half the time (Castelnovo, et al., 2021). For adults, night terrors appear to be more of a dissociative experience, and can be accompanied by hallucinations.

What you can do about night terrors

While none of the suggestions below work all the time, there are a number of things you can try to reduce or even eliminate night terrors. Excellent sleep hygiene (such as regular bedtimes; limiting screen time, no food and drink before bed, especially sugar and caffeine; dark, cool quiet bedroom; and wind-down rituals like story time) can all help reduce night terrors. Parents can also do their best to limit stresses on kids who have night terrors – things like bullying and separation anxiety might be addressed. Interestingly, psychological factors are found to be mostly associated with night terrors in teens and adults, but not children.

Wake-up treatment. One treatment that has met with some success is to wake a person up about half an hour before they would typically have an episode. If you do this for two weeks, it can break the cycle and stop it from recurring. In some cases, however, the episodes simply start occurring later in the night.

Co-sleeping. One interesting paper (Boyden, Pott & Starks, 2018) suggests that sleeping with your child stops night terrors, especially with very young children. The authors say that evolution did not design humans to sleep alone when very young and that “night terrors are the result of an environmental mismatch between evolved behaviour and the modern cultural practice of solitary sleeping.” This solution has not been empirically tested, but anecdotally, it appears to work for many.

The bottom line is that while night terrors can seem extreme, they are usually benign and your child will experience them less and less over time. There are a number of things you can try, such as good sleep hygiene, limiting stress, waking them prior to an episode and co-sleeping. To all those exhausted parents reading this, I hope it has been of some help.

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Washington, DC: Author.

Davey, M. (2009). Kids that go bump in the night. Australian Family Physician, 30, 290- 294.

Ekambaram, V., & Maski, K. (2017). Non- rapid eye movement arousal parasomnias in children. Pediatric Annals, 46, e327-e331. doi:10.3928/19382359-20170814-01

Golbin, A.Z., Guseva, V.E., & Shepovalnikov, A.N. (2013). Unusual behaviors in sleep as “compensatory” reactions aimed at normalizing the sleep–wake cycle. Human Physiology, 39, 635-641. doi:10.1134/ S0362119713060042

Ivanenko, A., & Johnson, K.P. (2016). Sleep disorders. In M.K. Dulcan (Ed.), Dulcan’s textbook of child and adolescent psychiatry (2nd ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.

Laberge, L., Tremblay, R.E., Vitaro, F., & Montplaisir, J. (2000). Development of parasomnias from childhood to early adoles- cence. Pediatrics, 106, 67-74. doi:10.1542/ peds.106.1.67

Leung, A. K. C., Leung, A. A. M., Wong, A. H. C., & Lun Hon, K. (2020). Sleep terrors: an updated review. Current Pediatric Reviews, 16(3), 176-182.

Murphy, P.J., Frei, M.G., & Papolos, D. (2014). Alterations in skin temperature and sleep in the fear of harm phenotype of pediatric bi- polar disorder. Journal of Clinical Medicine, 3, 959-971. doi:10.3390/jcm3030959

Nguyen, B.H., Pérusse, D., Paquet, J., Petit, D., Boivin, M., Tremblay, R.E., & Montplaisir, J. (2008). Sleep terrors in children: A prospective study of twins. Pediatrics, 122, e1164- e1167. doi:10.1542/peds.2008-1303

Petit, D., Pennestri, M.H., Paquet, J., Desautels, A., Zadra, A., Vitaro, F.,…Montplaisir, J. (2015). Childhood sleepwalking and sleep terrors: A longitudinal study of prevalence and familial aggregation. JAMA Pediatrics, 169, 653-658. doi:10.1001/ jamapediatrics.2015.127

Salazar, F., Baird, G., Chandler, S., Tseng, E., O’Sullivan, T., Howlin, P.,…Simonoff, E. (2015). Co-occurring psychiatric disorders in preschool and elementary school-aged chil- dren with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorder, 45, 2283- 2294. doi:10.1007/s10803-015-2361-5

Silvestri, R., Gagliano, A., Aricò, I., Calarese, T., Cedro, C., Bruni, O.,…Bramanti, P. (2009). Sleep disorders in children with attention- deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) re- corded overnight by video-polysomnography. Sleep Medicine, 10, 1132-1138. doi:10.1016/ j.sleep.2009.04.003

Wolke, D., & Lereya, S.T. (2014). Bullying and parasomnias: A longitudinal cohort study. Pediatrics, 134, e1040-e1048. doi:10.1542/ peds.2014-1295

Are you a parent concerned about the frequency and intensity of your child’s bad dreams? Should you be concerned?
Learn more about Nightmare Relief for Everyone designed by nightmare expert Dr. Leslie Ellis, this self-paced user-friendly and accessible online course covers the very latest in science and research about what nightmares are, and what they’re not. Leslie offers some simple steps you can take to get some relief from nightmares and other nocturnal disturbances – both for yourself and for others, including your children.

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Nightmare-Suicide Link Extends to Adolescents

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Read on to find out how you can help!

If you know or work with a deeply troubled teen, you might consider asking them about their dreams. If they report frequent disturbing dreams or nightmares, they are at a greater risk for suicide. The link between adult suicide and nightmare frequency has been well established, and a new study extends this correlation to young adolescents. The good news is that nightmares are treatable, and some very simple steps can make a meaningful difference.

In a recent study based in Montreal, Canada, Aline Gauchat and colleagues studied both the dreams and suicidal ideation of 170 children when they were 12 and again at age 13. Disturbed dreaming tends to lessen with age and did so in this sample. At the same time, the rate of suicidal ideation increased, and analysis of the data showed that the adolsecents who had suicidal ideation had significantly more disturbing and recurring dreams.

This is another piece of mounting evidence that when working with those with a potential risk of suicide (for example those with depression, borderline personality or a history of complex trauma) you should ask about nightmares as part of the screening process.

 

Why we should ask about nightmares

Dr. Michael Nadorff, who has conducted several studies linking nightmares and suicide, noted with dismay that in the past 50 years, we have not become any better at predicting suicide. Paying attention to dreams, in particular the frequency of disturbing dreams and nightmares, is one way to help determine who is most at risk.

The other important thing to note with respect to the nightmare-suicide link is that effective nightmare treatments are available. In his talk on nightmares at the recent (June, 2021) conference for the International Association for the Study of Dreams, Nadorff noted that of those with dangerously troubling dreams, only one person in ten might report this to a mental health professional. There are a couple of reasons for this: those with frequent nightmares don’t always realize that such dreaming is not typical. And very few people are aware that nightmares can be treated. People also hesitate to talk about their nightmares for fear of being judged for the dark images that haunt their sleep.

However, talking about nightmares, and getting treatment can have positive effects that extend beyond the simple reduction in the frequency and distress caused by disturbing dreams. In general, symptoms of depression and trauma dissipate, and although this has not been specifically studied, it is fair to suggest the risk of suicide drops significantly as well.

Instilling Hope

When asked what he thought made nightmare sufferers more likely to consider taking their own life, Nadorff said he thinks a lack of hope is a major contributing factor. For frequent nightmare sufferers, even sleep is not a refuge from their tortured thoughts. Those contemplating suicide report deep loneliness and a sense that they are a burden to those closest to them. He suggests intensive support for those whose risk of suicude is high, stressing that the periods of high risk are time-limited.

Treating the nightmares of those contemplating suicide is also something Nadorff recommends, though this idea has not taken hold very widely, at least not yet. But Imagery Rehearsal Therapy (IRT), lucid dreaming, and several other nightmare treatment protocols demonstrate that it can be fairly quick and easy to reduce nightmares and their related distress. In my survey of the nightmare literature, I have found that virtually all methods researchers tried seemed to help, and adverse effects seemed absent.

The common denominators in nightmare treatment include instilling hope by teaching those with nightmares that they are treatable and it is entirely possible to change their dream life for the better. The other key elements of treatment are to write, rescript or re-imagine a new ending to their nightmare, ideally one that gives them a sense of mastery over the challenge presented in their dreams. They can, for example, develop a superpower that enables them to escape or overpower their attacker. In my experience, the more richly imagined this new dream ending is, the more power it has to change subsequent dreams. If it sounds too simple, don’t be fooled… it can really be that easy to make a meaningful difference, possibly even save a life.

 

Some further resources:

Help for nightmare sufferers (free PDF) CLICK HERE

A short focused course on nightmare treatment for clinicians CLICK HERE

Are you a parent concerned about the frequency and intensity of your child’s bad dreams? Should you be concerned?
Learn more about Nightmare Relief for Everyone designed by nightmare expert Dr. Leslie Ellis, this self-paced user-friendly and accessible online course covers the very latest in science and research about what nightmares are, and what they’re not. Leslie offers some simple steps you can take to get some relief from nightmares and other nocturnal disturbances – both for yourself and for others, including your children.

 

References

Gauchat, A., Zadra, A., El Hourani, M., Parent, S., Renaud, J., Tremblay, R. E., and Seguin, J. R. (2021). Association Between Recurrent Dreams, Disturbing Dreams, and Suicidal Ideation in Adolescents. Dreaming 31(1), 32-43.

Nadorff, M. (2021). Invited talk for the International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD) Online Conference, June 13-17, 2021.

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Can Your Apple Watch Stop Your Nightmares?

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For more than 30 years, retired combat Marine veteran Tim Bahr would have his sleep interrupted by a dozen or so nightmares every night. He clearly recalls the morning of August 5, 2017 because that was the first time in decades that he woke up from a full night of sleep and could not recall a single nightmare. Bahr was testing an early version of NightWare and has become a strong advocate for this new nightmare treatment.

Nightware, is a ‘breakthrough’ system that uses an Apple watch and iPhone to help reduce nightmares and their related distress. As you begin to have a nightmare, a gentle vibration from the watch wakes the wearer just enough to change the dream state, allowing the person to sleep on more peacefully. Bahr said the sleep data shows he is still having nightmares but the device ‘breaks’ them before they get to the most intense places, so he is blissfully unaware of them. He also says this does not replace therapy but it does enable him to work through his PTSD with a well-rested body and a clear mind. “I now wake up without that fog.”

Granted FDA approval in November 2020, Nightware is now available on a limited basis by prescription to those who suffer from nightmare disorder or nightmares related to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This is new order of nightmare treatment was granted ‘breakthrough device’ designation that allowed it to fast-track through the FDA approval process.

Recurrent, realistic nightmares that replicate traumatic events are a cardinal feature of PTSD. They cause considerable distress and impair sleep, and for many, these distressing dreams do not simply go away with time. There have been several effective nightmare treatments developed that involve some variant of nightmare rescripting – in which the dreamer invents and rehearses a new ending to their nightmare. Imagery Rehearsal Therapy (IRT) has the most supportive evidence, and many other, similar psychotherapy-based interventions have been developed over the past 20 years. Medications are often prescribed as well, most often Prasozin, but it was recently downgraded because in a recent study, it did not perform better than placebo. However, NightWare is a new and different kind of treatment that can augment other ways of helping reduce nightmare suffering.

The beauty of Nightware is that this wearable device poses minimal risk and has no side effects. When we have a nightmare, our body reacts as though the terrifying event is really happening – so our heart rate increases, our breath becomes rapid, and we can tend to thrash around a lot more. The Apple watch can detect heart rate and movement. Over the first week or so of wearing the device, the patented Nightware software creates a personalized sleep profile to enable it to detect when a person is likely to be having a nightmare. It will then send a signal to create a gentle vibration in the watch, enough to cause a shift in the dream state, but not enough to wake the wearer up… or if the signal is too strong and does wake the wearer, the watch will adjust the signal and make it softer.

NightWare was tested in 30-day clinical trial with 70 patients who were randomly assigned with the working app, or a placebo app that did not create vibrations. Both groups reported improved sleep quality, but those with the Nightware app reported greater benefit. A larger controlled clinical trial is under way in several Department of Veterans Affairs hospital sites. According to NightWare CEO Grady Hannah, the company was founded specifically to support the physical, mental and emotional health of veterans and active duty service members.

There are some caveats. The FDA suggests that Nightware should be used in conjunction with other treatments and under the supervision of a professional. And it’s not recommended for those who tend to sleepwalk, or become violent or act out their dreams because the device may increase this undesirable activity (called REM Behaviour Disorder). It also recommended only for those 22 years of age or older. Nightware is available by prescription only, and is currently limited to veteran and military individuals. To find out more about it, you can do go the company web site at nightware.com.

 

Dr. Leslie Ellis is an author, researcher and therapist who specializes in PTSD nightmare treatment. If you are interested in learning more about nightmares and their treatment, check out my Short Focused Course on Nightmare Treatment. Or go HERE for a free PDF for clients on ‘What You Can Do About Your Nightmares.’

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Sleep deprived? You may be getting more sleep than you think!

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We’ve all experienced nights like this: where we toss and turn and worry and plan, and when morning comes, it feels as if we have barely slept at all. The truth is you may actually be getting a lot more sleep than you realize. New research suggests there can be a big difference between your real and perceived duration and quality of sleep. A group of Swiss researchers recently found that when we are in our deepest sleep, we tend to perceive the opposite.

In the recent experiment at the Center for Investigation and Research on Sleep and University Hospital in Switzerland, researchers recruited 20 good sleepers and 10 with severe sleep misperception (also called paradoxical insomnia). In the sleep lab, they woke the participants up a collective total 787 times, at different sleep stages, to inquire about their perception of the quality of their sleep. Sleep stages were measured by high-density EEG. Our brain waves clearly show when we are in the deepest non-rapid eye movement (MREM) or ‘slow-wave’ sleep, and when we enter lighter, dream-rich REM sleep, or any of the stages in between.

One of the biggest surprises in this research by Stephan, Castaldi and Sicari (2021) is that we tend to perceive the opposite of what is true. They said, “Surprisingly, in good sleepers, sleep was subjectively lightest in the first two hours of NREM sleep, generally considered the ‘deepest’ sleep, and deepest in rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. Both the good sleepers and the sleep misperceptors felt they were sleeping deeply when they reported “dream-like features of conscious experiences… These findings challenge the widely held notion that ‘deep’ (slow wave) sleep best accounts for feeling soundly asleep.”

Anecdotally, this observation is supported by sleep medicine practitioners. At a sleep conference, I recall listening to a sleep doctor talk about a particular patient who checked into the clinic because he suffered from terrible insomnia. They set him up in the sleep lab, connected him to the EEG equipment to record his sleep duration and quality. In the morning, the lab staff were able to report to him that he had a full 8 hours of normal, restful sleep. The speaker said he happened to overhear a phone conversation the man had with his wife that morning. The man said, come get me, the doctors here don’t know what they’re talking about. In his perception, he had once again barely slept at all.

In the Swiss study, researchers wanted to know if this kind of sleep misperception was similar in nature (though clearly not in degree) to that of good sleepers. They found that both groups perceived they were awake more often during the first two hours of sleep, when we drop into our deepest sleep of the night, and again in the last hour before waking. Predictably, the misperceptors felt awake more often than good sleepers. The researchers also found that the ‘wake-like’ neurophysiological processes that typify NREM infiltrated REM more often for paradoxical insomniacs, possibly accounting for their misperceptions.

In terms of sleep perception, the only difference between the two groups was that misperceptors reported more thought-like experiences than good sleepers. Overall, the more dream-like experiences perceived, the greater the sense of having experienced a good sleep. This gives a clue about how you might treat paradoxical insomnia, and insomnia in general – stop thinking so much about whether or not you are sleeping, or worrying about how well you are sleeping. Instead, allow your mind to wander and to dream. Get a sleep meditation app like Insight Timer and find your favorite voice to fall asleep to. I notice when I listen to the same yoga nidra recording over and over, I lose big chunks of it to sleep, something I would not even realize if I didn’t know the sequence so well.

It may also really help to change your expectations about what sleep should be like, especially as you age. A continuous sleep, in which you lay your head down at night and are conscious of nothing until you wake up in the morning, can indeed be a rare event for many people – for example women experiencing menopause, and the elderly. Those who adapt best to this learn to accept periods of wakefulness as part of the norm. It may help to know that in these periods we perceive as wakeful, we may in fact be getting a lot more sleep than we think.

 

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Embodied Experiential Dreamwork Certification Program

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Experiential Dreamwork Certification Program

Join us for an amazing journey that will bring about insight and growth, both personally and professionally.

Now taking applications for FALL cohort 2022. Reserve your spot now!

This program is a deep dive into the world of dreams, and a clear path to learning how to engage yourself and guide others in embodied experiential dreamwork practices. Upon completion of this program, you will be able to confidently engage with your own dreams and the dreams of others, both one-on-one and in groups. And you will be able to help those who suffer from trauma-related nightmares to not only reduce nightmare frequency and distress, but also PTSD symptoms. This course is a companion to Dr. Leslie Ellis’ recent book, A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy but goes beyond the material in the book to include personal and group dreamwork, and co-creative dreamwork.

TIMING OF ONLINE LIVE CLASSES:

There will be 10 2.5-hour live group Q/A and dreamwork practice/demo sessions.
Time: 9:30 AM to NOON PACIFIC on the third Wednesday of each month, starting in September. Sessions will be recorded and available to view at any time, but in-class attendance is strongly encouraged.

Instructor: Dr. Leslie Ellis

Dr. Ellis is a world expert in the clinical use of dreams, with a specialty in working with PTSD nightmares. She has a PhD in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology and a Masters in Counselling Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. She is vice president of The International Focusing Institute and has more than 20 years’ experience in clinical practice. She has taught a focusing certification program to therapists for more than 10 years, and is now offering online instruction in dreamwork to therapists and anyone interested in cultivating inner life through dreamwork, focusing and active imagination. She is the author of A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy (Routledge, 2019), as well as numerous papers and book chapters on focusing and embodied, experiential dreamwork. She has also taught and delivered talks worldwide, including a recent keynote for the International Association for the Study of Dreams.

Who should attend?

This course is aimed at mental health professionals and students working toward psychotherapy, counselling, social work or coaching certification, as well as those with a strong interest in dreams and dreamwork. It is also of interest to spiritual directors and those intending to lead dream groups. This program is intended as an adjunct to the practice you already have, and it is up to each student to practice dreamwork within the scope of your own skills and training base. It is also not a substitute for therapy, although working with dreams is often therapeutic. If you have any questions about whether this program is for you, feel free to ask.

CEUs. A total of 50 CE credits are offered for this program from the Canadian Counselling Association.

 

Online Instruction includes the following courses:

Working with your OWN dreams

Dreamwork Demystified, the clinical use of dreams, parts 1 and 2

Working with Nightmares

 

Interactive instruction and practice

Monthly dream group meeting

Live demos and Q/A sessions

Practice partnership to exchange dream sessions

Online discussions, and bonus articles, videos and demos on topics of interest to the group

 

Assignments

Dream journal (for yourself)

Records of dream practice session, and questions and insights that arise

Option to present a case study, video, paper, artwork on an aspect of working with dreams

 

Reading

Ellis, Leslie. (2019) A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy: Implementing Simple and Effective Dreamwork. New York & London: Routledge.

Gendlin, E. T. (1986). Let Your Body Interpret Your Dreams. Wilmette, IL: Chiron Publications.

Gendlin, E. T. (1978/1981). Focusing. New York, NY: Bantam Books

 

Suggested Reading

Bosnak, R. (1998). A little course in dreams. Boston & London: Shambala.

Malinowski, J. (2021). The psychology of dreaming, London & New York: Routledge.

Bulkeley, K. (2017). An Introduction to the Psychology of Dreaming. Santa Barbara, CA: Praeger.

Specific additional reading will be assigned or suggested as the course progresses.

 

PRICING

To purchase the individual components of this program would cost more than $2500 USD. We are offering the complete program for $1750 USD or $2100 Cdn. There is an option to pay monthly, in instalments of $175 USD or $210 CAD (includes GST). A deposit of $175USD or $210 CDN is required to secure your spot – this is not included in the total or monthly fee and is non-refundable. Please send deposit and registration info (see below) to leslie@drleslieellis.com via paypal or e-transfer.

Contact information: Dr. Leslie Ellis, email leslie@drleslieellis.com.  Web: www.drleslieellis.com

 

What current students of the course are saying:

  • “Personally and professionally helpful” 
  • Leslie is incredibly knowledgeable and always has lots to offer. I have found this course to be greatly helpful to me, both personally and professionally. This course is equipping me with the tools to work with a wide variety of clients on a much deeper level. Moreover, I have found it to be personally helpful as it has provided me with a platform to further engage with myself.
  • “Captivated my curiosity” It is with immense pleasure that I share with you my experience of this Experiential Dreamwork Certification Program that has captivated my curiosity and attention each and every day. I have been working with my dreams for over 30 years and have recorded 30 dream journals; however, this course has moved me so much farther in understanding my dream life that is so precious to me.
  • “Multi-layered and integrative” This program is multi-layered and I am learning so many new skills. I have been in this course approximately 3 months and have already learned so much, including: how to work with nightmares; how to work with my dreams on my own; how to participate in dream groups;  how to find the life force found in my dreams;  how to work with lucid dreams; and how to discover my blind spots when sharing my dreams. Most of all, I have gained skill in integrating Focusing while processing my dreams so that I can experience my dream more fully, embody useful elements of the dream and move the dream and myself forward.
  • “Skilled and knowledgeable facilitation” Dr. Ellis is a very skilled facilitator and psychotherapist and is exceptionally knowledgeable about the vastness of dream work.  She has written a cutting-edge dream book, A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy: Implementing Simple and Effective Dreamwork that complements her online course, virtual classroom and group dream work.  I feel very fortunate to be studying with her.
  • “Fresh and fascinating” For me, this course is a fresh approach to the dream world. Beyond attempts for analysis and interpretation, it offers the opportunity to re-live our dreams and to receive all the gifts they bring.  For me, it was surprising to learn that nightmares can also carry helpful elements and how there are ways to find them and listen to them. Throughout this journey, Leslie is a very warm and supportive teacher and the educational process of the course enables us to quickly bond as a team. I believe it is a fascinating experience for every dreamer.
  • “From having nightmares to loving dreams again” 
    As a mental health professional, I’ve found the techniques I learned in this course to be incredibly effective in reducing my client’s nightmare frequency and severity. But it’s not only for clinicians. Anyone can take it and help themselves have a better dream life, and better connection with their dreams. I’ve come to see how much dreams can bring help and resolution to a bunch of different aspects of one’s life. So that’s something I’ve really taken away. I just like loving dreams again.The course came at a time where I was having really, really frequent nightmares that were just terrifying. And they were happening maybe every 10 days. After our one-on-one session, it just went away and never had it again. That was that was really, really helpful. I couldn’t find a solution before that.
  • “An Amazing Journey.” It’s been an amazing journey. I’ve always been passionate about dreams and with this approach I definitely feel a shift in how I work with dreams. There is such power for healing when we really attune to bodily sensations, when enter dreams in an experiential way. I find it very, very powerful. The finding of the helpful life force in the dream is a new technique for me and it’s really amazing. I find it that dreaming a dream forward gives that quality of more. My clients are really happy with the process as well. I can see it helping them move forward in their lives.
  • “Excellent.” 
    This dream course was excellent and if I could, I would do it all over again. I learned far more than I could ever articulate, and I now have a focusing-oriented template for supporting my clients with their dreams.

‘Embodied Experiential Dreamwork Program ‘made me a better clinician’

I recently had a conversation with one of the recent graduates my year-long dreamwork program – looking for feedback and ways to talk about the program to prospective students. If you are considering the program, Shauna’s experience may help you decide if this is a fit for you.

Read full conversation HERE.

 

To reserve your spot: A completed registration form and deposit of $175 USD  or $210 CAD (includes GST) is required (PayPal or e-transfer to leslie@drleslieellis.com). Deposit is nonrefundable. Once the program has started, refunds will be prorated and will not include the current month.

Registration form: Please email the following information to leslie@drleslieellis.com

1. Name, email address, mailing address.

2. Education and training

3. A very brief statement about your experience with dreamwork (none required) and your reasons for taking this course.

4. Your preferred payment method: $175USD deposit, and monthly instalments ($175USD x 11 months), or save $175 with payment in full ($1750 USD plus deposit).

Other currencies. Canadians are welcome to pay in Cdn funds: $210 deposit, and monthly x 11, or in full at $2100, plus deposit. For those in countries with large currency differentials, further discounts are available.

FAQs

What if I don’t recall any dreams — can I still benefit from the program and learn to work with dreams?

The short answer is yes, you can do dreamwork even if you don’t recall dreams. But you will likely find that you recall more dreams as you pay more attention to them. I have written a blog post with some ideas about how to recall dreams. And I also teach some ways to cultivate waking dreams, and these can be used for practice in the course in the same way you would work with night dreams. This also works for clients who don’t recall dreams.

Is the class time-intensive? How much time outside of class is required?

At minimum, you need to attend the monthly 2-hour class, or watch the recording if you are not able to attend in person — though it is highly encouraged to attend in person as often as possible. Outside of class time, you will have a dreamwork partner and are encouraged to work with each other’s dreams at least once a month. There are a couple of short books that are required reading. And there are several online courses you can consume at your leisure.

I have a suggested time-line of reading and coursework, but because my students are all adult learners and busy professionals, I want everyone to consume the material at their own pace, and to enjoy the process. Of course, the more time you put in, the more you will get from the course material, but I leave that up to each individual.

Are there scholarships available?

I do offer a discount in specific cases — mainly for those who reside in countries where the currency differential would render the tuition out of reach. There are a limited number of discounted spaces, and candidates will be considered in a case by case basis.

Is the course eligible for CEUs?

The course has been approved for 50 CE credits by the Canadian Counselling Association. These may not apply in your jurisdiction however.

Can I take this course if I am not a mental health professional who works with clients?

While this course is aimed at those who want to use dreamwork in clinical practice, it is open to all with a strong interest in working with dreams — their own, or the dreams of others. It may appeal to spiritual directors, coaches and anyone with a deep interest in exploring the fascination world of dreams.

Besides the group meeting each month will we (the students) have an ongoing dream group that meets more regularly?

The monthly meeting will be a 2.5 hour session that will typically begin with a brief Q/A. Then we will talk about a specific dream practice, topic or theory, I will demonstrate the dreamwork method with a class member or two, and then break you into smaller groups to try it out. Then we debrief the experience. There may be sessions where we stay together as a large group to learn and experience dream group process.

In addition, I will create a dreamwork exercise based on each month’s learnings for you to try with your small group — you will be assigned to a dyad or triad to meet over the year between classes to practice what we are learning together. There will also be an option for the small groups, or the whole group to continue meeting after the year is over.

Will there be assignments to support the certification?

There is one assignment to present on any aspect of dreamwork that intrigues you, and the format for this is very open. Most students have offered a short presentation (10-15 minutes) or led a class exercise/discussion. You can also write, film or record what you want to share. But these are not formally assessed. if you attend classes, engage in the dreamwork practices assigned, do the reading and courses that are part of the program, you will qualify for certification. If you would like to record a dreamwork session for feedback and a more formal assessment, that is an option.

Would this course be recognised by the IASD in its guidelines for ethical dreamwork certification?

Yes, this course will be recognized by the IASD as it follows the ethical dreamwork certification guidelines closely.

Is this course a stand alone course or are there other levels of qualification?

This course is a stand-alone course. There is a related course offering on how to understand and treat nightmares that I would recommend for all of those doing clinical dreamwork. And graduates can continue is a quarterly dream circle for those who have completed the program. If there is enough interest, ad advanced dreamwork certificate may be offered in the future.

If you have any questions that are not answered here, let me know.  THANK YOU!

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REM Rebound: Managing intensification of dreaming when sleep deprivation or substance use stops

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When you end a period of sleep deprivation or substance use, your dreams return, sometimes with a vengeance. Dr. Leslie Ellis explains how to understand and manage REM rebound.

While the global pandemic has been identified as a big factor in the recent increase and intensification of dreaming, a phenomenon called REM rebound may be the mechanism at work in some cases. REM sleep is so important that following a period of REM deprivation, our bodies will automatically make up for what it has missed. REM rebound is characterised by intense dreaming and a structural shift in the normal sleep cycle.

Sleep rhythm will return to normal once we have made up our REM sleep debt. This can take days or weeks depending on why, how long and how severely the sleep cycle has been disrupted. There is much in the literature about how to manage sleep problems associated with REM rebound, but very little in the way of help with what to do about all those troublesome dreams. Read on for some simple suggestions from a clinical dream and nightmare expert.

 

What is REM rebound?

First, we need a basic understanding of rapid-eye-movement (REM) sleep. This is the sleep stage most associated with dreaming. In a typical night, we have 4-5 REM sleep periods that gradually increase in length over the course of the night. In total, we spend about 90 minutes or more in REM sleep during a typical 8-hour night of sleep, with most of our REM concentrated toward morning. If we become deprived of REM, our bodies will drop into REM immediately upon falling asleep instead of moving through the progressively-deepening cycles of non-REM sleep that typically start our night. This is REM rebound, a natural increase in REM to make up for what was missed, often due to sleep deprivation or the kind of stress that leads to restless, broken sleep.

There is considerable research to support the notion that REM sleep and dreaming help to regulate emotional reactivity and to reframe negative experiences. REM sleep affects hormonal balance and sleep homeostasis. To return to the normal, restorative sleep patterns so important to all aspects of our health, we may need to go through a period of intense dreaming to allow our sleep rhythm to reset itself. My suggestion is to befriend this process. A first step is to understand that even our most frightening nightmares are trying to help us by balancing our emotional state and taking the charge out of challenging past and current life situations. We can work with them, not against them. More on this later.

 

Substance Use and REM Rebound

The most common cause of REM rebound is sleep deprivation, especially very early awakening that cuts off the second half of our sleep. REM rebound also happens when a person stops taking a substance that suppresses REM sleep. These include many commonly-used substances like antidepressants, alcohol, cannabis and benzodiazepines. Paradoxically, many of these substances are used to promote sleep – and while they can help you fall asleep, they disrupt normal sleep architecture, ultimately making the situation worse. (Newer sleep aids like zolpidem do not cause this problem.)

Sleep is critical to our emotional and physical health. Insufficient or poor-quality sleep is associated with poor emotional regulation, diminished ability to consolidate memory, a higher risk of psychiatric illnesses (depression, anxiety, PTSD), obesity, heart disease and stroke as well as increased risk of workplace and vehicle accidents. Clearly, getting a good night’s sleep is critical to all aspects of our health. Getting sufficient REM is intrinsic to this process.

The best way to overcome REM rebound is simple, yet it can also be a challenge for those with chronic difficulty sleeping well. You simply need to get enough good-quality sleep to make up the REM that your body requires. There are plenty of resources available on good sleep hygiene: things like a calming bedtime routine, limiting screen time, caffeine and alcohol before bed, and getting enough exercise are well documented and can help.

However, for some people, the intensely disturbing flood of dream imagery following the cessation of substance use can make it tempting to go back to taking the antidepressant medication or addictive substance they want to stop using. For those in this category, part of the answer is to befriend your dreams, especially those that have returned with great intensity following a period of silence. If you have intense, frequent and disturbing nightmares during the REM rebound period, making friends with these dreams may seem like an impossible task, but it’s not. Few people realize that nightmares are both treatable, and in many ways, also helpful in the emotional recovery process.

 

Changing Your Relationship With Your Dreams

Dreams and nightmares have been shown to temper emotional intensity. Studies suggest that when we dream about a disturbing scenario, we generally feel better about it than we did before. The big problem with nightmares is that they can be so intense, they wake the dreamer up, so they disrupt sleep rather than helping. A simple solution is to imagine the dream forward; just let it continue from where it left off until you get to a place that feels like more of a resolution. It doesn’t even have to be a triumphant solution, just one that carries the dream forward.

In my experience, this simple process can effectively stop or change a nightmare immediately. It can also take a few tries, and in some cases might require professional help. If you have PTSD or a history of trauma, a professional trained in working with nightmares can make the difference. There are many studies on a version of this method called Imagery Rehearsal Therapy (IRT) that show it often helps, and when it doesn’t, it causes no adverse effects. In other words, it’s worth a try.

In general, getting to know more about your dream world and what it’s trying to tell you will set you up for a more positive relationship with your dreams. I have written extensively about this, and will post a list of resources in the references below. My main message, having worked for decades with the dreams of those recovering from trauma and addiction, is that your dreams are trying to help you, not hurt you. Dream lovers welcome the flood of nocturnal images that characterize a REM rebound. If you are someone who has stopped the use of a REM-suppressant substance, for whatever reason, be prepared for the dreams that will come to you, and find a way to welcome them. Also know that the condition is temporary and if you can stay the course, your normal sleep rhythm will return.

 

Dr. Leslie Ellis is the author of A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy, and an expert in dreamwork and nightmare treatment. Her web site (www.drleslieellis.com) contains many resources about how to work with dreams and nightmares.

 

Resources:

There Are No Bad Dreams – a Ted-like talk about nightmares.

Nightmare relief, free PDF: What you can do about nightmares

For clinicians: A Short Focused Course on Nightmare Treatment

Live Oct. 13 (and recorded) Live workshop on Nightmares and the Nervous System

Blog post: Whether and how to work with traumatic nightmares

Blog post: Whether and how to work with traumatic nightmares

 

Selected references for this article:

Ellis, L. (2019). A clinician’s guide to dream therapy: Implementing simple and effective dreamwork. New York: Routledge.

Feriante J, Singh S. (2020). REM Rebound Effect. In: StatPearls [Internet]. Treasure Island (FL): StatPearls Publishing. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK560713/

Krakow, B. and Zadra, A. (2006). Clinical management of chronic nightmares: Imagery Rehearsal Therapy. Behavioural Sleep Medicine, 4(1), 45-70.

 

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Too Much Mindfulness? Try Dreaming While Awake Instead

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In a way, we are always dreaming… and this is a good thing.

Proponents of mindfulness meditation call it our monkey mind: the crazy, undisciplined way our thoughts jump around when we allow our mind to wander freely. It used to be thought that when we were not focusing our minds on something specific, our brains simply idled there, switched off. Similarly, it used to be thought that, with the exception of the occasional dream, our minds were largely silent while we slept. In fact, we are always dreaming.

Under the surface of waking thought, and throughout the entire night (not just in REM sleep), our brains are dreaming… and this is a good thing. There is a common misconception that dreaming is a nonsensical activity that serves no useful purpose. But as we discover more about the nature of our brains, we find that dreaming is implicated in the crucial tasks of sorting through the massive onslaught of information we take in each day, making meaning of it, recording what’s important in such a way that we can access it when needed, and at the same time, softening the emotional charge associated with life’s most impactful events. And if that’s not enough, dreams do all this with creativity and economy.

What might be even more surprising is that these dream-like activities happen during the day as well as at night. Neuroimaging now enables us to watch the brain in action, and in doing so, brain researchers discovered a surprising thing. For their experiments, brain researchers generally ask their participants to perform a task or think about something specific, and then see which areas of the brain light up. What researchers began to notice is that in between specific tasks, the brain does not go dark and silent – a grouping of other areas of the brain light up in a fairly predictable pattern. This has become known as the default mode network (DMN).

For proponents of mindfulness, the DMN is to be avoided in favor of present moment attention. The DMN can be associated with rumination and depression so we best not let our mind wander unchecked. In modern times, many of us curtail the neural wanderlust by keeping our minds very busy. Much of the time we might historically have spent mind-wandering is now taken up with screen time. Even while walking in the forest or going on a long drive, many of us will plug into a podcast rather than allow our minds to roam as freely as our bodies. In this quest for constant productivity and focus, however, much is lost.

In their recent book, When Brains Dream, Tony Zadra and Robert Stickgold suggest the activities of the DMN are important for priming the brain for dreaming. When our brains get a break, our thoughts wander along loosely associative paths scanning thoughts, experiences and memories; they seem to be queuing up what we will dream about later. When awake and busy, we are taking information in at such a rate that we don’t have the mind space to sort and make meaning of it all. We need to do this when we have down time, so our dreams can then do their job of integrating important new information into our associative memory networks. If we don’t allow our mind enough time to wander, it will do so as soon as we lay down to sleep at night. Zadra and Stickgold suggest that this might explain those times when our minds can’t shut down for the night, and instead zigzag their away through a wide array of loosely connected thoughts before finally allowing us to drift off to sleep.

We can catch hold of these pre-dreaming processes during the day. In many ways they are indistinguishable from nocturnal dreams. In one experiment, people were shown texts from dreams and from daydreams, and if the latter were emotionally-toned, they were indistinguishable from regular dreams. The Jungian analyst Arnold Mindell espoused the idea that we are always dreaming, and that we can catch hold of the dreaming through indirect little clues he charmingly called flirts.  He developed process work as a way to become aware of the flow of dreaming while awake. We receive subtle cues all the time, often through our bodies, in the form of sensations, hunches, flickers of visions and intuition. Mindell does not view the dreams in sleep and waking as distinct from each other, except with respect to the ego, which is much more in charge during waking hours. During dreaming, all figures seem to have equal importance, leading Mindell to call our dreammaker “deeply democratic.”

In a recent (December 2020) edition of the online journal Aeon, Rubin Naiman wrote a beautiful essay lamenting the loss in our modern world of REM/dreamtime. He also believes that we are always dreaming, and offers a perfect celestial metaphor for this: “Although we believe dreams are like stars that emerge only at night, we know that stars are always present, even when occluded by daylight. Likewise, dreams are always present as an undercurrent in consciousness, even when obscured by ordinary waking. Jung referred to this undercurrent as the waking dream. In contrast to daydreams, which are about escaping current experiences, the waking dream calls us more deeply into those experiences and undercurrents.”

Naiman suggests we can access the waking dream world through many avenues, including art, spiritual practices, by lingering at the border of waking and sleep, and via active imagination in Jungian therapy. Naiman concludes his essay with the beautiful notion that dreaming can infuse the way we live our lives and lead us to our authentic selves. “Dreaming, if you’re so minded, can become a way of life, or at least a regular practice. The waking dream is about using our dream eyes, the ones we see with in REM/dreams, in broad daylight. It can loosen the grip of wake centrism, and offer glimpses of the world behind the world. In this way, it reveals a deeper sense of who we are, tapping into the mythic backstory of our lives.”

So next time you settle onto your cushion to become mindful, try cultivating a little mindlessness instead. Allow the mind’s default mode to take over, and let it gambol and play as it naturally will. Sink down below the shiny surface of things and dive into the undercurrent that enriches and underlies your life. Be sure to slip below the regular level of thought where, let loose, the inner critic will want to take over and berate you for being lazy and unproductive. Rest assured that doing ‘nothing’ may be the most important thing for your mind and body in that moment.

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Jungian dreamwork basics from John van Eenwyck at the Jung Platform Summit

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Jung wrote vast amounts of material about dreams, so much that to approach the topic can be intimidating. In the first lecture for the free dream summit now taking place on The Jung Platform, John van Eenwyck pares this enormous topic down to a few helpful ideas about how to work with your dreams.

The first thing van Eenwyck says is that we don’t really know what dreams are. This echoes Jung’s idea that we should approach each dream as if it were a totally unknown object. In particular, we cannot assume we know anything about the meaning of the dream images of someone else. That said, Jung saw dreams as complementing waking consciousness by presenting the opposite of our day-world view. For example, a priest who lives an exemplary life dreams of dark, sinful behaviors at night. Our dreams often pick up on our shadow, or our unlived life.

To engage with your dreams, you need to record not only your dreams, but also their context. We all know that keeping a dream journal involves writing down our dreams, ideally as quickly as possible after dreaming them, and in as much detail as you can recall, because otherwise dreams often slip away. Van Eewyck also suggests that before going to sleep, we jot down a few lines about the main events or what occupied our thoughts during that day. This way, we can relate the dream content to the events of the previous day, the so-called ‘day residue.’

He also suggests we avoid editing our dream material. Write down everything that you can about your dreams upon waking – from having no dreams that you can recall, to recording vague sensations or emotions, and from small dream snippets all the way to epic dream stories. When we do this over time, we build an archive of our dream life, something we can refer back to.

To work with another’s dream, we might first look at the setting: who or what is in the dream, and where does the dream take place? Then we can ask into the dreamer’s associations; what the dream elements mean to the dreamer is far more relevant than what we, as the dreamwork, may think a dream image means. After this, we can engage in amplification of the dream, looking at what stories and myths might relate to the dream, and then checking with the dreamer to see if anything resonates for them.

Lastly, the biggest takeaway for van Eenwyck is Jung’s suggestion that we dream the dream onward. This is particularly true for nightmares because by definition, we wake from them in the middle of the action, before the dream has reached a resolution. He provides a poignant example of Ruby, a client who had severe Lupus and was given six months to live. In her frequent nightmares of a pursuer who planned to rape and kill her, Ruby would work with van Eenwyck to dream the dream on to a better place. The last time she had this dream, she turned toward her would-be killer and it was a 9-year-old boy looking for help to find the way home. She did help the boy, and not only did the nightmares cease, but she also experienced a lifting of the severity of the disease, and lived for many years beyond what her doctors predicted.

Was this spontaneous remission due to the dreamwork? Or did the dream reflect the unexpected turn for the better in her health? Like so many things about dreams, we can’t know for sure. Van Eenwyck concludes that we don’t waste too much energy looking for definitive ideas about dreams, but instead to enjoy them. He concludes, “The essence of dream analysis is play.”

Join me and 11 other dreamworkers Jan. 14-17 for a free dream summit exploring the fascinating world of dreaming. Look for my talk on why and how to use dreams in clinical practice on Jan. 16 at 11am PDT.

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The nocturnal therapist: An argument for turning toward our dreams

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Dreams have inherent therapeutic value. Why don’t we tap into them more?

By Dr. Leslie Ellis

Dreaming is therapeutic. Is there a way to make it more so? Unequivocally, yes. Much like therapy, the more we invest our time and energy into our dreams, the more helpful they will be. This is not a new idea, but one that is gaining a broader spectrum of supportive evidence, moving beyond clinical case studies to include the realms of neuroscience and traumatology. Our brains and bodies have a natural tendency towards health and wholeness, and dreams, even the so-called bad ones, are implicated in the process of maintaining our emotional and spiritual health.

There are the obvious cases. For example, a few years back, a client was having a particularly difficult time in her life and feeling wholly unsupported by those closest to her. She dreamt that a large bear of a woman gathered her up in her lap and held her close, rocking her and telling her everything was going to be just fine. This dream was vivid and visceral, and she woke from it feeling soothed and hopeful.

Most dreams are not quite so obviously helpful. For example, this summer, my beloved cat Shadow disappeared and I have not seen him since. Shortly after his disappearance, he came to me often in my dreams, at first so realistic I felt I could reach out and touch his silky fur. Later, his dream presence was more distant, his image starting to break up. These dreams are more like how therapy really is – helpful but painful too because it brings us face to face with what we are up against. Therapy is typically a process that allows us to consider, feel deeply into, and ultimately accept and move through aspects of life that we find challenging. Therapy includes many supportive moments, akin to the bear hug woman, but it is rarely as simple as that.

I have spent more than 20 years as a clinical therapist who welcomes and explores client dreams as an intrinsic part of the process. I have also paid attention to my own dreams. I understand first-hand the tremendous value dreams have in alerting us to what we need to attend to. I have been astounded at times by their wonderfully creative way of offering us new perspectives on tired old situations. But rarely are they clear and simple like the bear hug woman dream. Instead, their helpfulness usually comes in two ways. One is an automatic sorting and emotional processing that goes on in the background while we sleep. The other is via active engagement with dream images, a relational process that takes time and effort on our part. We can do this dreamwork on our own or in the company of a dream partner, group or therapist, or do both: begin exploring on our own, and then with the help of others. I recommend both.

My point is that while dreams are naturally therapeutic, we can greatly enhance the help they bring us if we spend a little time and make an effort to engage with them. And yet so many people ignore this nocturnal resource. Why is that?

I can offer several possible reasons. First, dreams often feel too mysterious and unapproachable. For example, recently I had a dream where there was a clear felt sense that I had been searching the world and had finally found what I was looking for. The rest of the dream is more vague, and only partially recalled… but my holy grail seemed to be in the clear turquoise waters of a shallow lagoon in some faraway place, and maybe was a school of fish. Then I was a disembodied watcher floating above the dream scene looking down on a white car with strange gull-wing doors flung wide open. This image has a spiritual feel to it, the white car reminding me of snow angels.

The dream also brings to mind my very first and most vivid lucid dream — I was swimming underwater and the realization that I didn’t seem to need to air sparked my lucid awareness of dreaming. To process this dream, I had a meandering conversation with my dream partner, and gained a better sense of how this dream might be “just what I was looking for.” Some helpful pointers: the car was floating, a vehicle, a mediator of sorts between the air above and the water below. I made plans to draw the image to engage with it further. Rarely do dreams offer up clear and easy answers.

Then again, this is also similar to therapy, at least in the way I practice it. I do not see myself as in the business of providing opinions, solutions or answers. I am an active, empathic listener, and a supportive advocate for my clients. But this support comes in a way that ideally enables them to hear their own voices more clearly, to plumb their depths, to face their demons and if needed, to metabolize embodied trauma and memories that may be holding them back. But I don’t view therapy as an excavation project in which we search the past for sources of pain. I believe the best working material for therapy comes from the present, and attending to what arises now that needs attention (which of course will include the past). Dreams very often bring up what’s most salient, emotionally-charged and related to current challenges. They can also point the way forward.

This brings me to another reason I believe many people turn away from their dreams despite their inherent therapeutic value. It’s the same reason clients often arrive in therapy only after they’ve reached a point of desperation, their inner demons shouting too loudly to be ignored any longer. We tend to dream of what we repress, those aspects of our lives that can be difficult to face. When we wake from a dream, I expect there is some level of awareness that the dream is telling us something we need to hear but don’t want to hear. Dreams are like homeopathic medicine – a small dose of what is ailing us, a direct experience of our problem. They are an irritant that has the potential to begin the process of response, and ultimately of understanding, metabolization and healing. But first we need to turn toward them and have the courage to let them in.

 

Dr. Leslie Ellis offers dream exploration courses online to clinicians and anyone interested in engaging with their own dreams. She is author of A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy, and many articles and book chapters on embodied experiential dreamwork and focusing. Join her for a free talk on dreams and therapy Jan. 16, on the Jung Platform’s Dream Summit.