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Why Do We Dream? Maybe We Should Ask Our Bodies

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Mark Blumberg, a University of Iowa researcher, has a new idea about why we dream – it’s our body mapping itself while we sleep. His research, recently featured in the New Yorker magazine, is a departure from existing theories that suggest in dreaming, we are making sense of our experiences, consolidating memories, processing emotions, possibly imagining things we fear or wish for – no one can yet say for sure.

Blumberg got curious about why newborn babies need 8 hours of dream-rich rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, while most adult humans need about one-quarter of that. He also wondered what babies have to dream about since they have not yet had any experiences to process. He also noticed that all animals, from sleeping dogs to the rat pups in his lab, twitch and jerk when in REM.

Are the dogs’ paws twitching because they are chasing imaginary rabbits in their dreams? Blumberg severed the connection between rat brain and body, and the twitching continued – suggesting these movements are not related to what we dream in our minds. He wondered if the reverse was true: that the movements were sending messages from body to brain.

Blumberg wired electrodes to the areas of the rat’s brain associated with movement, and assigned a different sound to each selected neuron. The amazing result was that each time the rat’s paw twitched, sounds would reverberate from the brain. Based on this, Blumberg articulated a theory that the brain uses REM sleep to map out the body, one muscle at a time.

During REM sleep, neuroscientists have long understood that the body is paralyzed from the neck down, presumably to keep us from acting out our dreams. Blumberg’s research suggests another possibility – that sleep paralysis allows our bodies to move a single, discrete muscle at a time, which enables discrete sensorimotor connections to form.

 

The body is implicated more deeply in dreaming than we thought

When people ask me how to better recall their dreams, I suggest they lie still upon waking, as this seems to make it easier to remember what they were just dreaming. This may be related to what Blumberg has discovered, a connection from the body that feeds the dreaming brain.

For the New Yorker article, Amanda Gefter interviewed Jennifer Windt, a professor of philosophy of mind and author of Dreaming, a book that explores what dreams can tell us about consciousness. Windt suggests the brain is not the centre of consciousness, mediating all that we experience, because what’s happening in our bodies shapes our dreams – for example through body positions that prompt memories, which are woven into our dreams. She told the New Yorker, “It’s through recognizing the contributions of the body that we can begin to understand why dreams feel the way they do.”

 

Reference

Gefter, A. What Are Dreams For? New Yorker, August 31, 2023.

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Resistant to Your Dream Life? Here’s why you should push through it

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Resistance to dreaming comes in many forms, and may be part of the reason we collectively forget so many of our dreams. In a dominant culture that leans toward the rational, empirical side of things, the magical, mysterious and unseen aspects of our existence can be lost or dismissed.

Lost or dismissed. This seems to be the fate of so many of our dreams. Even I, who spend much of my time studying, appreciating, writing and teaching about dreams, feel a resistance to them at times, unable to make time for them, too quick to think I understand them already. These are classic forms of dream resistance – to dismiss them as meaningless or as already understood. Yet when I do make time for my dreams, through art, imagination or discussion with others, the rewards are rich. I experience heartfelt connection with my dream partners and a deeper connection to myself and the larger world.

In my years of teaching clinical dreamwork and guiding dream journeys, it has often felt as though the path I’m travelling is slightly uphill, upwind, upstream; in some form or another, I encounter a fairly steady stream of resistance. One of my students had the courage to name this, and an interesting discussion ensued about the many forms of resistance to our dream lives. We often dream of emotional, provocative, deeply personal and at times difficult things, so it makes sense to have some resistance to turning toward all that, and especially to sharing it.

 

Interpetation as Disrespect for the Dream

One reason for the resistance to sharing dreams is the common experience that if we tell a dream to someone, they will impose meaning on it that may not be welcome or resonant. There is a tendency, based on popular but outdated notions, that dreams have a definitive meaning, that there are universal symbols, and if you learn these, you can tell someone what their dream means, what it says about them, and what they should do in response.

In fact, modern dreamwork is not like this. The International Association for the Study of Dreams actually states in its own bylaws that imposing a definition on someone else’s dream is not only unwelcome, but not even ethical. Still, the idea of dream interpretation persists widely, and dream dictionaries remain among the most popular ways of deciphering dream images.

What my dream-resistant student lamented, having been a victim of overly interpretive dreamwork herself, is that such dissection and analysis takes away the magic and mystery inherent in dreams. She asked, can we just enjoy them and all their strange, fantastic imagery without having to work at them or come up with a way to explain them? Can we just love the dream for its own sake, as we would a piece of art or breathtaking sunset?

 

Dream Loss as Resistance to Dreams

Sleep and dream researcher Rubin Naiman speaks of an epidemic of sleep loss, which he suggests is actually dream loss. He says that, collectively, we are resistant to our dreams because dreaming expands our consciousness, and unless you are someone who has psychologically and spiritually prepared for such a thing, this expansiveness can be scary and disorienting. In our collective culture, there tends to be a narrowing of our consciousness. We spend more time focused in little screens, less on being outside under the vast open sky – both literally and figuratively. So when we start dreaming, and we enter into an expanded sense of consciousness, this can feel threatening enough to affect sleep.

I would suggest that not only do dreams reflect a larger consciousness, but that they also reflect our deepest emotional life. This may also be something that we tend to resist in various ways – through overwork and busyness, through use of substances that numb us, and via attention to the many distractions at our fingertips.

However, as my student astutely observed, her resistance wasn’t the only force at work. After all, here she was, in a year-long dream course speaking about her lifelong fascination with dreams, and her strong desire to protect their profound and magical qualities. This resonated with the dreamers present – that we entertain our dreaming lives alongside and despite the resistance to them because the pull toward our dreams is even stronger than the resistance. We can respect our hesitation around dreaming, and at the same time, can feel and appreciate their consciousness-expanding properties, their wider wisdom and their creative genius.

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Night Moves: Understanding Dream Enactment and REM Behavior Disorder

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By Dr. Leslie Ellis

Our scariest nocturnal experiences may not be the greatest cause for concern. Those who experience sleep paralysis wake up while still in a dream state, unable to move a muscle. This is often accompanied by the sense of a malevolent presence in the room, even right in bed! Believe it or not, the experience of paralysis is a normal part of our sleep cycle, our body’s way of protecting us from enacting our dreams. When our circadian rhythm is off, we can wake up before sleep paralysis has switched off which can be terrifying if you don’t understand it.

But this is not the worst thing.

What can be more ominous and dangerous is when sleep paralysis does NOT happen as it should, and instead, the dreamer enacts their dream scenarios. In rare cases, murders have been committed during such episodes. Comedian Mike Birbiglia suffers from this condition, called REM (rapid eye movement) Behavior Disorder, or RBD. His wild nocturnal experiences are a frequent subject of his highly popular shows, and the basis of an award-winning movie, Sleepwalk With Me.

In one sketch, Mike describes how he dreamt of being the target of a guided missile with coordinates set specifically on him. His dreamtime logic told him to jump out the window so the explosion would detonate outside, away from his platoon. He actually did this, despite the fact that he was on the second floor of a motel, and the window was closed. He landed, cut up, on the grass, got up and kept running… until he slowly realized, with relief at first, that he was in his underwear, bleeding, on a cold January night. He was dreaming, not actually being attacked! He was lucky his injuries were not worse. His doctor diagnosed him with RBD, and he now sleeps in a neck-high sleeping bag with mitts on to prevent him from unzipping it and potentially hurting himself.

 

About RBD

There are many ways to treat RBD, but one of the most important things to do is ensure the nocturnal safety of both the person who has it, and their bed partner, if they have one. Mike’s sleeping bag is not a bad idea. Sleep medicine experts suggest removing all sharp objects and weapons from the bedroom, padding the floor, lowering the mattress, placing a pillow between you and your bed partner, or even sleeping in separate beds.

Let’s back up a step though. Just what is RBD, what are its causes and what can you do?

RBD is now thought to be the initial symptom of neurodegenerative disease, and it most often affects older men. Up to 90% of those with idiopathic RBD (ie that is not a side effect of medication or other known causes) go on to develop neurodegenerative disease, usually Parkinson’s or dementia with Lewy bodies. Research suggests that RBD is the manifestation of an otherwise covert disease already present in the brain, rather than simply being associated with an increased risk of future development of disease. While treatments exist, there are no known therapies to slow the rate of degeneration – although the disease process itself can be very slow. Exercise has been shown to be neuroprotective, and a recent study shows it may help with RBD. Risk factors such as smoking, alcohol use and depression can be addressed. RBD is also associated with concussions, hyposomnia, arthritis, pesticide explosure, constipation and family history of neurodegeneration. It can be also brought on by use of anti-depressants, and in this case, stopping the medication can stop the RBD.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) suggests four medications that can be used to treat RBD: clonazepam, melatonin, pramipexole, and rivastigmine. Each has a different mechanism of action and each has its pros and cons. Of course, seek the advice of a sleep medicine professional about their use. (Howell’s 2023 AASM articles below also provide more detail.)

 

Options for Managing RBD

First, be sure to get a proper diagnosis. Sleepwalking and night terrors are also characterized by movement and intense vocalization during sleep. However, these happen during the first half of the night, during deep sleep versus REM, are not recalled by morning, and are more common in children. RBD episodes are dream enactments, most common in older people and can usually be remembered.

While RBD that is not associated with drug use or secondary to a medication condition may not be curable, it can be managed in various ways. Keeping safe is a priority because although those with RBD can go for long periods without an episode, dream enactments are always possible.

One partial solution, aimed at keeping those with RBD safe, is a bed alarm system (ie the Posey Sitter Select). Using pressure pads under the shoulders, and optional tether, the system detects when the user starts to get out of bed, and play a custom voice loop that tells something like: go back bed, you are dreaming. A small study found this device not only prevented injury but reduced overall dream enactments, possibly because it reduced the dreamer’s worries about hurting themselves or their partner.

In my practice, I have worked with the nightmares of those with RBD, reasoning that if one has fewer intense or violent dreams, enactments will be less frequent and dangerous as well. This has been the case with several patients, although like all RBD treatments, it is not a perfect solution, but rather can become part of an overall management strategy. Lifestyle changes, embracing the joys of life, befriending and potentially developing more control of one’s dream life are some positive responses to RBD. Or, like Mike, you can find and express some of the humor inherent in this otherwise potentially serious condition.

 

References:

Management:

Howell, M., Avidan, A. Y., Foldvary-Schaefer, N., Malkani, R. G., During, E. H., Roland, J. P., … & Ramar, K. (2023). Management of REM sleep behavior disorder: an American Academy of Sleep Medicine systematic review, meta-analysis, and GRADE assessment. Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 19(4), 769-810.

Howell, M., Avidan, A. Y., Foldvary-Schaefer, N., Malkani, R. G., During, E. H., Roland, J. P., … & Ramar, K. (2023). Management of REM sleep behavior disorder: an American Academy of Sleep Medicine clinical practice guideline. Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 19(4), 759-768.

Helpful adjunctive treatments:

McCarter, S. J., Boeve, B. F., Graff-Radford, N. R., Silber, M. H., & St. Louis, E. K. (2019). Neuroprotection in idiopathic REM sleep behavior disorder: a role for exercise? Sleep, 42(6), zsz064.

A device to protect from dream enactment behavior (DEB) and bed injury

Howell, M. J., Arneson, P. A., & Schenck, C. H. (2011). A novel therapy for REM sleep behavior disorder (RBD). Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 7(6), 639-644A.

Risk factors:

Xiang, Y., Zhou, X., Huang, X., Zhou, X., Zeng, Q., Zhou, Z., … & Guo, J. (2023). The risk factors for probable REM sleep behavior disorder: A case-control study. Sleep Medicine, 110, 99-105.

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Dreamweaving: Introducing a Method for Collective Dream Experiencing

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Dream groups are a beautiful way to deepen into a dream, gathering a wider range of impressions and perspectives than we receive when we dive into our dream material alone or with a partner. I have led dream groups in many forms for decades, and love how the universality of dream images ultimately hold meaning and depth for all. Still, there is typically just one or two dreamers whose material is explored in any given session. I have been wanting to develop an experience that is more collective, where every member feels like an equal participant. With the help of my long-term Dream Circle of graduates from my embodied experiential dreamwork program, I recently created just such a method: Dreamweaving. The following is a brief account of the method, a process to invoke dream images to share, experience and weave into a tapestry.

Dreamweaving in Brief

Briefly, the method begins with an invocation, an internal experiential process for each group member to invite a short dream or fragment that seems to want attention. For example, if a group member has a big dream they want to share, the process invites them to find the particular image from the dream that intrigues them most. Once we have all been visited by a dream image, each member shares it, and we have a brief clarification process in which group members can ask the dreamer to say a little more about their image. This is not interpretation, but a deepening of the collective experience of the image, and an invitation to follow our curiosity.

Once all the dream pieces are offered and briefly explored, the group is invited to take a step back and take the entire dream collage in. Then, one by one, each dream member in turn can offer a prompt that invites an experiential exploration of any aspect of the collective dream that feels the most generative and intriguing to them. All members are invited to participate in the experiencing process, which could be a re-entry into a dreamscape, character or element, a dreaming forward from any image or dreamscape, or a conversation with a dream element. Then participants are invited to briefly offer a sense of what they experienced. Over the course of the session, the dream images come alive, and interweave until it really does begin to feel like a single, collective dream experience.

Here are the steps in brief:

  • Invocation
  • Dream sharing and deepening
  • A round of experiential prompts, with a brief sharing of experiences after each prompt

 

The Invocation

I always start my dreamwork sessions with an experiential inward journey to invite group members to find, embody and explore a dream or daydream image that is alive for them in the moment. The following is the transcript of the first Dreamweaving invocation, slightly edited (ellipses… indicate a long pause):

We’ll start with our usual way by just getting comfortable in your body, in your chair. Settle in, feel the ground underneath you, and do what you normally do with your body to prepare to go inward… Start by clearing some space, setting aside any distractions and opening yourself to the world of dreaming. As you’re clearing space, broaden your perception a little bit. Rather than being just with your own inner landscape, see if you can broaden it and feel into the group. We’re trying to expand our awareness and pick up what we can of the group dreaming…

When you feel settled, clear and connected, I’m going to ask you to invite an image or a dream snippet. You’re welcome to have an image arrive spontaneously right now. Or you can bring in an image from a dream that wants to visit. It could be a fresh one, a dream you’ve had recently or one from the past. Just invite what wants to come forward right in this moment. And welcome whatever arrives… You’re going to spend a bit of time with what came. First, start to notice the setting or the dreamscape that this image is situated in. Go ahead and flesh out the environment… Notice the temperature, the weather, what’s on the ground, what’s in the sky… Now begin to situate yourself in the dreamscape at whatever distance or wherever in this dream feels like the right place to be… And when you feel yourself there in the dreamscape, let this image play forward a little by finely observing the image that you’re with or letting it carry forward if it’s in motion or has a story that’s unfolding. Again, just see what the image wants…

Notice as you do this, as you’re following this image, what it brings up in your body. Feel into what kind of a felt sense arises as you interact with this dream image. Don’t do anything except notice what the felt sense is like, be friendly and curious with it… and before we turn away from this, just take a minute with your dream image and ask in a very open ended, invitational way if there’s anything this particular image wants to share, or wants you to share with this group. Just if it comes easily, don’t force it…

So we’re going to start to take our leave. Although we can keep the image with us if it feels good to do that, but start to come back to the dreamscape… and then back into your body sitting in the chair. Feel yourself back in the room. And when you’re ready, you can bring your attention to the screen… but take whatever time you need to exit. Don’t rush this. If you want, I’ll just give you a couple of minutes to jot anything down you want to record. We’re going to hear a lot of dream images. And so if you want to solidify what just came, feel free to write it down…

 

Tapestry of Dream Images

Some of the images that were offered by the group included a woman wearing a green sweater and holding the group safely; a sad little boy in blue pajamas; a forest bath; a beautiful and well-worn leather saddle; a violin on a table and a door to a stage; and dolphins shape-shifting into moose. I asked the group members to feel into the dream images and invited us all to experience where our curiosity would lead. By way of example, I started us off as follows:

What I noticed was that there are a lot of images of support, and invitations to go somewhere, move somewhere, do something. So I’m tempted to gather up the supportive image, like the support at the back of my neck in the forest bath, sitting on the horse in the saddle, and inviting the woman who is a safe guide for all of us… just kind of feeling into those supportive images and then going forward. Interestingly, of all the invitations, the place that calls to me is the open door to the stage with the violin. There’s an orchestra waiting… so I’m just going to give us all a few minutes to share this experience of gathering up the supportive images and then going forward onto the orchestra stage with the violin… we’ll have a few people offer what they experienced, but starting with the person who offered the prompt (me in this case).

Being in a saddle is a comfort zone for me. And I felt into the woman in the forest bath with the support at the back of my neck. Then I picked up this beautiful violin which was alive. I don’t play the violin but I just knew how to play it. As I went into the room with the orchestra, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I wasn’t playing the violin, it was playing through me, a beautiful solo. And then when I stopped and said something to the group, it was like everybody knew that now we’re going to play together. The orchestra starts and it just flows. It was a really beautiful experience.

This chiming in of the orchestra feels like an apt metaphor for the way the dream group members joined in the process of weaving these images and carrying them forward. The invocation brought a beautiful mix of dream images. Then the experiential prompts deepened our collective sense of these images, and the whole experience seemed to be carried along by our collective imagination. Here are a couple of comments from group members:

“I loved how this process gave us more permission to take each other’s dreams and try them on.  If I view it entirely from a personal perspective, I had the feeling that each person’s dream offered me a reflection of a different aspect of myself.  Although these aspects may be conscious (and of course some may be unconscious) I may not normally spend as much time experiencing them as this process allowed me to do.”

“As somebody who has a really rich and detailed imaginal world, both in waking and dreaming life, it feels beautifully intimate to weave our dream images together, to be impacted by other people’s imaginal content, and to hear the ways that the imagery I share is impacting others. I know we do an element of that in all dream groups, but it feels like there’s something different that happened today… it feels like more of a weaving of a shared tapestry.

 

Dreamweaving is one of the methods I will be teaching in the class I am offering early in 2024 on Leading Dream Groups. As I fine this method, there will be more offerings, so stay tuned!

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How Are You Dreaming? A Very Simple Question to Screen for Suicide Risk

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Your dreams are an excellent barometer of your emotional life. And for those at risk for suicide, they can be a warning sign that is too often ignored. I have been calling for more clinicians to ask about dreams when their clients are dangerously depressed, and am pleased to see that others are joining the chorus.

Geoffroy (2023) wrote a letter to the journal, Bipolar Disorders suggesting that clinicians ask one simple question of their clients at risk for suicide: How are you dreaming? He states that dreams and their recent changes represent “a meaningful warning signal of the suicidal crisis.” This simple inquiry could help detect one of the foremost causes of death worldwide, particularly lethal in youth populations.

There is a clear and growing body of evidence to show that nightmares represent an independent risk factor for suicide, even when depression, post-traumatic stress and other risk factors are adjusted for. I have written a comprehensive review article of this evidence, now in press (Journal of Projective Psychology and Mental Health, 2024). Here is the abstract:

A robust link has been established between frequent nightmares and increased risk of suicide, both in adult and adolescent populations. Yet nightmares remain vastly undertreated for a confluence of reasons: patients rarely talk about their nightmares, clinicians rarely ask about them, and too few clinicians are trained to treat disturbing dreams. Current clinical research shows that nightmares are not only associated with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but also are more prevalent in most psychiatric disorders. There are myriad reasons for clinicians to inquire about and treat nightmares: Patterns of disturbed dreaming, and content of nightmares can provide warning signs of suicide; dream content can aid in diagnosis, treatment, and assessment of response to treatment; and there are established, evidence-based treatments for nightmares that appear to reduce nightmare frequency and distress, as well as other symptoms of post-traumatic stress. Mechanisms of action remain unclear, and the range of treatment options could be expanded, so further research is needed. In the meantime, viable nightmare screening and treatment options currently exist that have the potential to mitigate suicide risk.

Some compelling evidence cited by Geoffroy in his letter includes a review by Akkaoui and colleagues (2020) which concluded that chronic nightmares affect up to 70% of patients with personality, mood or post-traumatic stress disorders. The researchers concluded: “Nightmares are overrepresented in mood and psychotic disorders… These findings emphasize major clinical and therapeutic implications.”

 

Changes in Nightmare Content Can Predict Suicide
Another recent study underscores the importance of tracking the dream content of those in crisis. Geoffroy (2022) offers some clarity about specific ways that nightmares escalate prior to a suicide attempt. The study of 40 patients hospitalized for suicidal crisis found that 80% had experienced changes in their dream lives prior to their crisis. Two-thirds experienced bad dreams, half had nightmares and 22% had dreams about suicide. The researchers also noted a progression in the way dreams changed, with bad dreams appearing 4 months’ prior, nightmares 3 months’ prior and suicidal scenarios 1.5 months’ prior to the suicidal crisis. They concluded: “Dream alterations and their progression can be readily assessed and may help to better identify prodromal signs of suicidal behaviors.”

Nightmares and suicide are clearly linked, and much more can be done to research, inquire into and treat nightmares as a way of reducing suicide risk. In my clinical experience treating trauma and nightmares over two decades, I see great benefit in treating these dreams. The content itself can point to areas of trauma that need to be metabolized and integrated, and when this is achieved, the nightmares tend to change or sometimes cease altogether. Also, when patients are taught simple ways to rescript their nightmares, this can provide a constructive alternative to rumination leading to suicidal thoughts. These dreamers say they feel empowered when they know they can do something about their nightmares, which increases hope and agency, and improves sleep quality. All of these factors can reduce suicide risk.

Don’t miss our 1-hour seminar on critical information for therapists about nightmares and suicide, including current research and how to help. We are currently offering a 30% discount! Click here to avail the promo!

For those interested in learning more about nightmare treatment and the nightmare-suicide link, I have a range of online courses available covering these topics in detail at https://drleslieellis.com/products/

References

Akkaoui, M., Lejoyeux, M., d’Ortho, M. & Geoffroy, P. (2020). Nightmares in Patients with Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder and Psychotic Disorders: A Systematic Review. Journal of Clinical Medicine, 9(12), 3990.

Ellis, L. A. (2024, in press). The Alarming Nightmare-Suicide Link: Evidence, Theories and Implications for Treatment. Journal of Projective Psychology and Mental Health, 31(2).

Geoffroy, P. A. (2023). How Are You Dreaming? A Very Simple Question to Screen for Suicide Risk. Bipolar Disorders, (25)4, 341.

Geoffroy, P., Borand, R., Ambar Akkaoui, M., Yung, S., Atoui, Y., Fontenoy, E., Maruani, J., & Lejoyeux, M. (2022). Bad dreams and nightmares preceding suicidal behaviors. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 84(1), 22m14448.

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How to be a Soothing Presence: Keeping Nothing Between

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The essence of working with another person is to be present as a living being. And that is lucky, because if we had to be smart, or good, or mature, or wise, then we would probably be in trouble. But, what matters is not that. What matters is to be a human being with another human being. – Eugene Gendlin, The Primacy of Human Presence

 

How best to accompany those suffering from grief, extreme stress or trauma? It’s a question that has been coming up a lot in my life and work. It seems as though many of us are searching for just the right technique, or thing to say in the face of deep suffering, and feeling unequal to the task. I believe it’s part of being human to experience a mix of joy and suffering, and that we are all capable of helping those in pain.

In a recent group I host for the Polyvagal Institute, we had a conversation about how to help those experiencing the effects of trauma and dysregulation. While there are lots of excellent and well-known techniques, like slowing the breath or orienting to inner and outer resources, our conversation led to something more important, beyond technique. Underlying all the suggestions you may have to soothe a person who is suffering, the most valuable thing you can offer is simply your presence.

 

We are designed to co-regulate

There are some practical ways to cultivate a sense that we are safe to others. If we can embody and convey a sense of calm and reassurance, this is contagious. As mammals, we are designed to pick up cues of safety, so when those around us feel comfortable enough, we can settle in a sense of safety too.

However, the ability to co-regulate is not something that can be falsely manufactured. What if I don’t feel all that safe and settled, and I still want to be a source of help and comfort? This is where a powerful idea from psychologist/philosopher Eugene Gendlin can help. In his lovely piece on ‘Keeping Nothing Between’, he suggests we don’t need to be anything other than who we are in the moment, our fallible human self. Our very willingness to be open and vulnerable is an invitation to trust.

I am sharing an excerpt here, from Gendlin (You and I – The Person in There), hoping you find it as inspiring as I do:

“In a restaurant a little girl in the next booth turns to look at you. It is an open look, direct from her – to you. She doesn’t know that strangers are not supposed to connect. She does not put this knowledge between herself and you. There is nothing in between. You look back. Her parents make her sit down and face forward. But then, when they all leave, she turns around at the door, to look again. After all, you and she have met therefore she wouldn’t just leave.

In first grade the children look at the teacher searchingly, openly, reachingly. They put nothing between. The teacher is concerned with the eight levels of reading ability, and does not look back.

Do only little children keep nothing between? Or can adults do that too? We can, but for us it is a special case.

If you came to see me now, I would not look at you like that, nor would I notice if you looked. You would find me in a certain mood in my private struggles. I am also preoccupied with writing this paper. If you suddenly walked in, a third cluster would come: The social set for greeting someone properly. I would respond to you out of that set. Or if you are an old friend, I would respond from the familiar set of the two of us. If you then wanted to relate in some fresh, deep way, it would take me a minute to put our usual set aside, to put my concern about my chapter away, and to roll my mood over so that I am no longer inside it. Then I would be here without putting anything between. But it would be easier to remain behind all that, and depend on my automatic ways.

If I really want to be with you, I keep nothing in front of me. Of course I know I can fall back on the automatic ways. If need be, I can also defend myself. I have many resources. But I don’t want all that between us.

If I keep nothing between, you can look into my eyes and find me. You might not look, of course. But if you do, I won’t hide. Then you may see a very insufficient person. But for contact, no special kind of human being is required. This fact makes a thick peacefulness.”

Wishing you and yours a ‘thick peacefulness.’

 

For those interested in learning more about Gendlin’s gentle somatic art of Focusing, I have a short introductory course on my web site under Products. I am also offering a live 4-class course via the Jung Platform starting Jan. 23, 2024 — which will be available as a recording after this. Here is the link: https://jungplatform.com/store/focusing-accessing-the-bodys-wisdom/partner/frxszk/

 

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The Vagal Paradox: A Current Summary of Polyvagal Theory

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Porges’ recent article has two main purposes: first, to set out a clear, complete description of the Polyvagal Theory in accessible language to clear up confusion and misconceptions among those who apply and describe it; second, to systematically address criticism of PVT in the literature. This is a summary of the former, especially as it relates to the mental health professions.

Porges never dreamed that when he introduced the Polyvagal Theory (PVT) in 1994, it would attract both intense interest among trauma therapists, and also persistent criticism from some scientists. He wrote The vagal paradox: A polyvagal solution (2023) to correct some of the many misconceptions and misrepresentations about PVT in the literature. He takes pains to express the PVT as clearly as possible, aware that those without education in the foundational sciences required to understand the complexities of this cross-disciplinary theory will continue to apply it and describe it to their colleagues. He notes that “misunderstandings can become misinformation in the digital world.”

The ‘vagal paradox’ paper carefully describes the foundations of the theory, what it covers and does not. It is the clearest, most complete description of PVT to date. The following is a summary of the main ideas Porges presents about PVT, in particular what is new in how he describes the theory and what is of highest relevance to mental health professionals. It does not cover the sections where Porges tackles specific detractors of PVT, most often pointing out why their argument is irrelevant to PVT or shows a lack of understanding of its scope and foundations.

Porges devotes about half of the article to addressing his critics — the main point is that PVT is a respected and testable theory. It has been cited in more than 15,000 peer-reviewed journals. PVT has also been enthusiastically adopted as a non-pathologizing way for therapists to help those with a history of trauma to make sense of their body’s responses to threat, and to recover. As trauma therapists, we can use PVT with confidence that it rests on a solid academic foundation.

 

The vagal paradox

Much of the description of PVT is unchanged and will be familiar to those who have studied it. The theory came about as a solution to the ‘vagal paradox’ that the vagus nerve in mammals could be both health-promoting and lethal. Porges observed this paradox in his research with preterm infants, for whom the vagus, usually associated with helpful calming, could also stop the heart.

The vagus, a cranial nerve that travels from the brain stem to many organs, is the primary neural pathway of the parasympathetic nervous system. It is primarily sensory, with 80% of its fibres carrying information up from the organs to the brain. The other 20% are inhibitory motor fibres that can act as a brake on the heart and stimulate the gut.

How can the same nerve help or kill? Because it splits into two branches, emerging from the dorsal and ventral areas of the brain stem, and each function very differently. The PVT describes the anatomy, development, evolutionary history, and function of the two (poly) vagal systems.

The PVT had a focus on how the vagus nerve evolved differently in mammals (although modern reptiles and mammals share a common, ancient reptilian ancestry). Porges describes how in mammals, some of the cardioinhibitory neurons migrated from the dorsal to the ventral branch of the vagus to form part of the ‘ventral vagal complex.’ This allowed for down-regulation of threat responses necessary for nursing, co-regulation and attachment, which are distinctly social, mammalian features.

Porges describes how respiratory sinus arrhythmia (RSA) can be used to track the impact of the two vagal pathways through early development. The myelinated cardioinhibitory fibers from the ventral vagal nucleus have a detectable respiratory rhythm. Research has shown RSA has lower amplitude in preterm infants, whose ventral pathways are not yet fully developed, and that this both improves as the infant matures and can be increased further through social engagement. By contrast, when bradycardia (slowed heart rate) is observed in preterm infants, this appears to be mediated mainly by dorsal vagal pathways (though further research is needed to determine if ventral pathways are also recruited).

 

Dissolution: Evolution in Reverse

An important key to understanding PVT is the Jacksonian principle of dissolution, the observation that evolutionally-newer circuits inhibit older ones except under stress or injury, when changes happen in reverse of this sequence. PVT extends this principle, originally applied to the brain, to include the autonomic nervous system (ANS). Our nervous system develops in this hierarchical fashion: older autonomic circuits (dorsal vagal and sympathetic nervous system) develop first, followed by the newer (ventral vagal, parasympathetic) circuits. It makes sense to Porges that older circuits “would sequentially be disinhibited to optimize survival… under challenge there is a progression that could be characterized as either evolution or development in reverse.”

Porges felt it important to note that the dorsal vagus has beneficial functions, especially related to digestive processes. “PVT proposes that when the ventral vagus is optimally managing a resilient autonomic nervous system both the sympathetic and dorsal vagus are synergistically coordinated to support homeostatic functions including health, growth and restoration. However, when ventral vagal influences are diminished… the sympathetic and dorsal pathways are poised to be sequentially recruited for defense.”  These steps are more commonly known as fight/flight and then collapse/immobility responses in the popular descriptions of PVT. In the body, these steps are observed as increased heart rate and suppression of the dorsal vagal calming of gut and heart. This sympathetic state is metabolically demanding. To reduce demands, the dorsal vagal influence may surge, lowering blood pressure, reducing heart contractility and clearing the bowel (dorsal vagal collapse).

 

Ventral Efficiency: A Dynamic Measure

The ventral vagus acts as a brake on the heart, which has an intrinsic rate of 90 beats per minute. “PVT specifically assumes that the vagal brake is mediated primarily through the myelinated ventral vagus and can be quantified by the amplitude of RSA.” Porges introduces a new measure, that of ventral vagal efficiency (VE), to account for the fact that the vagal brake functions in a dynamic manner in response to the environment. This involves evaluation of short sequential shifts or ‘epochs’ to capture the dynamic relationship between RSA and heart rate. Porges lists several studies using VE as a measure, including his own preliminary research showing lower VE for those with a history of maltreatment, which in turn mediated increased symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Porges suggests that VE reflects a disruption in feedback between the heart and brainstem that could lead to body numbness and index autonomic regulation to stressors and psychiatric symptoms. “Blunted VE may be a mechanism through which maltreatment induces mental health risk and interventions aimed at promoting efficient vagal regulation may be promising for improving resilience and wellbeing in trauma survivors.” He suggests VE could be a “powerful, low cost, easily quantifiable and scalable measure” for screening for low ventral vagal efficiency.

 

PVT: Five Key Principles

In order to understand PVT, Porges suggests there are five key principles. Most of them have already been described in this summary, but they will be explicitly listed below. PVT has evolved since its introduction 30 years ago, in part due to the intense interest and interaction with trauma therapists and survivors who found PVT to be a helpful and liberating explanation for their own embodied experiences. For example, many understood for the first time why they were unable to fight or flee when under attack.

In the process of developing PVT and interacting with the research and clinical communities that have embraced it – the notion of the vagal complex as a process not measurable through standard cause-and-effect principles has emerged. Porges describes PVT as a neural algorithm in which testing by traditional randomized controlled trials does not apply.

Instead, Porges envisions an index of autonomic signatures describing autonomic responses to specific situations. “Perhaps the most informative aspect of such an algorithm would be to identify the autonomic pathways that would support the ability to down regulate threat to enable mobilization and immobilization to occur with trusted others and not trigger defense… It is this process of functionally liberating mobilization and immobilization from defensive threat driven strategies that PVT hypothesizes to have supported the emergence of social behavior and cooperation in species of social mammals.”

This leads naturally to the first principle:

  1. Autonomic state functions as an intervening variable

This principle stresses the capacity of the ANS to dynamically respond, adapt, process and recover from challenges. “PVT emphasizes an important perspective missed by correlational research – how the ANS is part of an integrated response, not a covariate.” This notion transforms how research would be conducted since it emphasizes integration of autonomic, cortical and somatic systems, shifting research targets from correlation to all of the parameters that mediate such integration. Porges said this could curb the tendency to generate faulty causal inferences from high correlations that can lead to inappropriate treatments and poor outcomes.

  1. Three neural circuits form a phylogenetically ordered response hierarchy that regulate autonomic state adaptation to safe, dangerous and life-threatening environments.

This is the cornerstone of the PVT, and well documented in this and other polyvagal literature, however Porges continues to refine his description. The PVT emphasizes there are three neural circuits that regulate and shift autonomic state in response to signals of safety, danger and life threat. PVT describes the mammalian response hierarchy in terms of biobehavioural scripts initiated.

“The phylogenetic sequence is initiated by a dorsal vagus, followed by a spinal sympathetic system, and finally with the ventral vagus. By identifying the biobehavioural scripts of each of these circuits, we become appreciative of the efficiency of the three neural circuits in an attempt to optimize survival,” Porges wrote.  These scripts help us to identify when the system in a safe or threatened state, and if the latter is fight/flight or immobilization. PVT shows how in a safe (ventrally-mediated) state, the system supports health, growth, restoration and sociality.

  1. In response to challenge, the ANS shifts to states regulated by circuits that evolved earlier consistent with the Jacksonian principle of dissolution, a guiding principle in neurology.

This has been described above.

  1. Ventral migration of cardioinhibitory neurons leads to an integrated brainstem circuit (ventral vagal complex) that enable the coordination of suck-swallow-breathe-vocalize, a circuit that forms the neurophysiological substrate for an integrated social engagement system.

The ventral migration of cardioinhibitory neurons became integrated in the regulation of the striated facial muscles used in ingestion and expression. This led to the formation of a social engagement system in mammals that enables a shift from states of defense to those of connection through co-regulation. The PVT describes how the presence of trusted others, especially if they project calm and safety through voice and gesture, can help a person shift into a calmer state. Such features can also be incorporated into trauma therapy.

  1. Neuroception: reflexive detection of risk triggers adaptive autonomic state to optimize survival.

Porges coined the term ‘neuroception’ to emphasize that the scripts initiated by the ANS in response to perceived safety and threat operate outside of awareness and are not under cognitive control. Because these are survival responses, the time it takes to assess and think about a response might be too long, hence these processes are reflexive, “unimpeded by intentionality and cognitive appraisal.”

 

In conclusion…

This article has not only offered a complete, and accessible summary of the development and current state of the PVT, but has also shown that it rests on a firm academic foundation. In addition, it paves the way for future research, and prescribes a significant shift in how such research ought to be conducted to faithfully capture the dynamic and integrative nature of the ANS. Most importantly for clinicians, PVT offers a humane and hopeful path for those who have suffered severe trauma – both a way of understanding symptoms, and a supportive path toward healing.

 

Reference:

Porges, S. W. (2023). The vagal paradox: a polyvagal solution. Comprehensive Psychoneuroendocrinology, 100200.

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Dreams of the Dead: Normal or macabre?

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In my daydreams, my grandmother and I sit on beach chairs and look out at the ocean. We’re on a deserted beach like something from Pirates of the Caribbean. She’s always there, contentedly sitting in a low-slung Adirondack chair amongst the grass tufts and dunes. When I drop in, she often tells me to slow down…

The secret is out: most of us maintain a conversation with deceased loved ones, in the form of dreams, sense of presence and/or some form of direct communication (telepathy, imagination, visitation…?) This recent finding by the Pew Research Centre is corroborated by the work of grief dream researcher Joshua Black, who says that dreams of the deceased tend to ease the process of grieving, offering messages of comfort and assurance.

Black became interested in grief dreams when he had a visitation in a dream about his father three months after his death. His dad had died suddenly, plunging Black into grief he described as numbness, “as if all the color had drained from the world.” In the dream, Black said his dad had an uncharacteristic lightness about him. “It was the first time I saw him peaceful.”

In the dream, Black got to tell his dad he missed and loved him. After that, the color returned to his world, and Black decided to devote his life’s work to researching dreams of the deceased. The desire to maintain continuing bonds with the dead is a key factor in such encounters and this is what Black continues to study.

For example, in 2020, he investigated the question: “Why are some dreams of the deceased experienced as comforting, while others are distressing?” In his study with 216 participants whose partner had died, he and his colleagues found that bereavement dreams appear to serve at least three distinct functions: they can assist with processing trauma; they can serve to maintain a bond with the deceased; and/or they can help regulate emotion. Taken together, these functions may “actively facilitate adjustment to bereavement.”

The recent Pew Research Centre study found that more than half of U.S. adults were visited in their dreams, or in some other way, by a dead family member. A third said they ‘felt the presence’ of a deceased relative, 28% said they told the dead relative something about their life, and 15% experienced the deceased communicating to them.

It turns out to be quite normal to have an ongoing relationship with loved ones who have passed away. Dreams, inner conversations and visitations are the typical forms this can take. A full 53 percent of the 5,079 surveyed said they experienced at least one of these interactions in the past year. This experience is more common to women than men, and greater amongst those who are moderately (but not highly) religious.

A question that arises is whether the dead have indeed spoken, through dreams or telepathy, or whether we are creating a personal representation of the loved ones we have lost when we dream about or speak to them. This depends greatly on what you believe about the nature of death and the possible continuity of consciousness beyond it. I like to think the dead really visit, similar to what those in Latin countries believe happens during the Day of the Dead rituals and celebrations.

Many cultures believe the deceased maintain communication with loved ones – and it is this belief that is at the centre of the Day of the Dead celebrations. During this period, which actually lasts several days, it’s believed that the border between living and spirit worlds dissolves, and souls of the dead return to feast and play with their loved ones.

Regardless of belief around the true nature of communication from those who have passed away, we know that maintaining a connection with the dead is common, and that it helps with the passage of grief and beyond. I still talk to my grandmother in my imaginal journeys, I feel her presence when I’m gardening and sometimes, just when I need it. I am heartened to discover that I am not alone in these comforting encounters.

 

Black, J., Belicki, K., Emberley-Ralph, J., & McCann, A. (2022). Internalized versus externalized continuing bonds: Relations to grief, trauma, attachment, openness to experience, and posttraumatic growth. Death studies, 46(2), 399-414.

Tevinton, P. & Corichi, M., 2023. Many Americans report interacting with dead relatives in dreams or other ways, Pew Research Center. United States of America. Retrieved from https://policycommons.net/artifacts/4775476/many-americans-report-interacting-with-dead-relatives-in-dreams-or-other-ways/5611706/ on 30 Aug 2023. CID: 20.500.12592/wcfmq3.

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How to Have Beautiful Daydreams: Reassign the Inner Critic

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The minute you turn your attention inside, are you greeted with a cruel, relentless voice that hits you in the most tender, wounded places? For some people, the invitation for the mind to wander leads directly to the inner critic. Below are some ideas to help make your inner world a more supportive place.

In our lives (and in our clinical practices), we have all encountered the inner critic, an inner watchdog alert to our every real or imagined misstep. This can be a true impediment to connecting deeply with ourselves from the inside. Although everyone has a different version, the basic experience is the same: that of a repetitive and demeaning refrain that knows our particularly sensitive spots and sends critical messages right on target. Often just as we (or our clients) start to feel good and strong, an inner voice enters that deflates us, telling us we are not smart/successful/good/pretty/talented… in some way, just not enough.

In my 20 years of clinical practice, I have encountered many versions of the inner critic and find that the more trauma someone has suffered, the more intense this inner voice becomes. I think it’s in part because as children, we rely so much on our caregivers that if something is wrong with the relationship, it is too scary to blame those we rely on for our very survival. So the badness must be inside of us. It is a protective idea that helps at the time but outlives its usefulness. However, because it was acquired at a young age, the critic’s message often feels ‘true’ and is accepted without question. You might want to consider its origin and question its message. It can be a revelation to simply say, you don’t have to believe your inner critic.

The inner critic is an ancient survival mechanism

Neuroscience expert Dan Siegel says the inner critic originates in our internal ‘checker,’ the vigilant part of ourselves that enabled our ancestors to survive. Those who were most alert to danger, and to something being wrong were more likely to survive and to pass on their genetic heritage. However, the ‘checker’ can manifest in many unhelpful ways such as obsessive compulsion, anxiety and also as the inner critic.

This idea that our inner critic is an outdated survival mechanism inherited from our ancestors may give us a bit of objective distance from it. The inner critic is not something to believe without question, especially as most of us now live in a world where physical survival is rarely at stake.

Siegel’s suggestions for working with the inner critic are: to get curious about the nature of that voice, notice what brings it up and what it wants for you. Or more often, what it doesn’t want for you, as the inner critic often stops us from doing things. Thank it for its protectiveness, notice the ways it has become too cruel or vigilant,  and mutually try to figure out a better way to forward.

Thoughts are not facts

Just because something enters our mind doesn’t mean we have to believe it’s true. This may seem obvious, but very often people in the grip of an internal attack do not stop to question the veracity of their thoughts. In depressed clients, I have often seen them make up a whole story that makes themselves wrong or bad, maybe involving other people they imagine are thinking disparaging things about them – and then react as though this entire fantasy is real.  I like to label these thought trails as fantasy. Then I invite them to inquire into the origin of this felt sense, and to tend to it from there. When the source of the self-criticism is tended to, the critic tends to shift and soften too.

The critic often has its roots in childhood, and from that vantage point, the message might make more sense, because it actually was, or felt like it was, true at the time. Or it somehow offered necessary protection, for example keeping us subdued and quiet so as to be less of a target. I suggest my clients give the critic a new job: Update the critic on the current situation, enlist their constructive help. The critic can become an ally.

Reassign the ‘Loyal Soldier’

Hiroo Onoda was a Japanese soldier who refused to surrender after World War Two ended. He spent 29 years in the jungle on an island in the Philippines, engaged in his military duties (and killing 30 people!). He remained there until 1974, because he truly did not believe that the war had ended.

During his time on the island, he ignored search parties and leaflets sent from Japan to get him to surrender, dismissing them as ploys. He was finally persuaded to emerge after his ageing former commanding officer was flown in to personally relieve him of his duties. Still dressed in a tattered uniform, he handed over his Samurai sword and went home to Japan where he was greeted. He became a rancher and survival training teacher. He died in 2014 at age 91.

This story suggests many things I think are true of the inner critic: that the critic has good intentions and is protective in some way, that it is operating on an outdated set of orders that it will not easily give up, and that in order to shift its energy to something more constructive, it needs to be acknowledged, thanked, relieved of its duties and reassigned. It needs to know the war is over and it can put its sword down.

Because the inner critical voice is thought-based, sometimes cognitive techniques can be helpful. Therapist and author Rick Hanson suggests thought-labelling: “Oh – anxiety. Oh – self-criticism. Oh – alarmist thinking.” This has been shown in research to do two good things in the brain:  it increases activity in prefrontal regions that are involved with executive control, and it lowers the activity in the amygdala, reducing the sense of alarm.

Hanson refers to an idea that originated with Jung: the concept of the self as a committee of various parts. “If the brain is a committee, the chair of the committee, roughly, tends to live right behind the forehead. So when you increase activation of the chair of the committee, who in effect is then able to say to the self-critical member of the committee, “Oh, we hear you already. We got it. Enough already. Hand the microphone to somebody else.”

Recruit your inner cheerleader

To combat our natural tendency toward the negative, I suggest finding the cheerleader or support person to sit on your inner committee.  If you don’t have one, recruit one. Just as the inner critic is often a composite of the authoritative and judgmental aspects of important people in your life, you can find or create a composite of those who supported you most. Or simply evoke a person or character that can be that for you. Then, when you notice the inner critic speaking, you can turn to the inner support person and ask for their opinion. It’s also like asking: what would the person who supports and loves you most say to that nasty statement from the critic? Let this sink in and be a counterweight to the critic. Over time, you will find that the inner world will become a more benign and supportive place.

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Go Play Inside: Cultivating a Compelling Inner Life, Three Ways

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Chasing external sources of happiness may have failed you, as ultimately our deepest satisfaction comes from within. But often when people turn their attention inward, they don’t like what they find. Dr. Leslie Ellis offers three ways to constructively engage with your inner life.

We all know the road to greater life satisfaction has more to do with how we feel on the inside than with any external riches we may gather, whether they be material possessions, good looks or accomplishments. We all know we should meditate, connect with our deeper self and learn to be content with life as it is right now, rather than waiting for some imagined future where everything will be wonderful again. However, many who turn their attention inward don’t like what they find: stress, inner criticism or maybe just a blank space that isn’t all that engaging.

In my 20 years as a psychotherapist, I have developed a number of simple and constructive ways to check inside that my clients tell me have changed their lives for the better. My goal is always to make my suggestions simple, doable and effective regardless of what might be going on in outside life, where so much of what happens is clearly beyond our control. At least with our inner world, we have some ability to temper and modulate our responses.

Managing stress: your inner tachometer

Getting stress levels under control is the first priority for so many of us. My sense, in working with so many clients with anxiety or depression, is that stress levels are chronically high, and we are not always aware of it. If you are in this boat, I suggest imagining an inner tachometer — and for those who don’t drive a car with a standard transmission, this means the device the measures the RPM of the engine. It idles in the green zone, works hard in the orange zone and can do damage in the red zone.

Try it now: where is your inner tachometer? Those who suffer from chronic stress spend too much time in the red zone. If you tend to take on too much and are always too busy, try to assess decisions about whether or not to add something more to your plate by the state of your inner tachometer. If it’s pushing toward red, do something to bring it down. Say no to the extra commitment, or to packing your appointments so close together you are always rushing. An engine that stays in the green zone lasts longer and our bodies are like that engine. We can’t always control the RPM, but this simple exercise in awareness can shift the tendency to rev on the red line too often.

Befriending yourself: taming the inner critic

The next thing many people find when they look inside, once they have taken the RPMs down a notch, is a nasty, critical voice that seems to find just the right thing to say to undermine confidence and stall forward momentum. Everyone has a version of this, an inner authority figure that combines parental, teacher and employer’s voices to tell us all the ways we are not measuring up. DON’T take it seriously! For many, it is a revelation when I tell them this voice doesn’t speak the truth. It is an artefact of childhood, and the more challenging our early years were, the harsher this voice will be.

A good test: how would you feel if a friend spoke to you in this tone of voice? You would rightfully be insulted and push back. Do the same with your inner critic. Since our brains are wired to focus more on the negative, you need to counter this tendency with something positive. Recruit an inner cheerleader to debate with the critic. Imagine what your best friends and biggest fans would say in response. Engage in an inner debate, don’t just agree with your critic, and you will begin to loosen its hold.

Recruit the critic. Ask yourself what the purpose of this inner critic might be. Inner reflection shows they tend to be afraid for us, want us to succeed, and want us to be motivated. You could start an inner dialogue with the critic and request that it find a better way to talk to you. As you would with a child, tell it to ask nicely for what it wants. Find a way to change its tune so it becomes more of an ally. Give it a name, learn its theme song, and listen only when the music sounds pleasing. Otherwise, change the channel, turn your attention elsewhere.

Attend to your dreams: your inner barometer

One of the most accessible ways to develop a rich inner life is to engage with your dreams. We all dream a feature film’s worth of dreams every night, although only a fraction is ever recalled. But if you pay attention to your dreams, write them down and ponder them, they become easier to recall and begin to speak to you directly from your deepest self.

Many people tell me they don’t recall their dreams, or if they do, they can’t make sense of them. One way to understand dreams is as picture-metaphors of whatever feelings are currently most important. Dreams are not meant to be understood as a linear story, but more as an image of your inner life. Spending time with the felt sense of the images in your dreams, drawing pictures of them, telling others about them and carrying them with you like an essential question will often open up the dream and bring you critical information from your authentic inner self. In short, do not ignore your dreams! Instead of trying to figure them out, let them come alive inside you, and ponder them as you would a poem or piece of art.

To sum up, we’ve covered three simple ways to engage more with your inner life. The first two suggestions are aimed at making it more attractive to look inside — since stress and the inner critic are two of the main reasons many of us prefer not to look inward. The third suggestion, to listen to your dreams, has the potential to open up a richly imaginative world that is a huge untapped resource in your journey toward your deeper self. Dreams regulate our emotions, point to what matters most, and can be our best guide on our life’s journey. They can also be funny, creative and compelling, all the more reason to go play inside.

For those interested in helping clients (or yourself) further to tame the inner critic and cultivate constructive and helping mind meandering, sign up for our free seminar online, coming Sept. 6.